Restaurant owner: Hey! I want you to come in here — I got something that, when you put it in your mouth, it’s gonna knock your socks off.
Regular: Oh, yeah? Is it a food or a drink?
Restaurant owner: Well, both, actually…
4th Street
Rochester, Michigan
Band instructor, about section: No, no, clarinets! It has to be short! Like pizzicato–pluck it, like a g string!
Band students: (attempting to contain laughter)
Instructor: Aww, c'mon, what the hell!
High School
Mattawan, Michigan
Student whose dessert slid off the plate: Nice try, cheesecake. You’ve only postponed the inevitable.
Michigan State University
Michigan
Overheard by: MrCandey
Chick deciding between two skanky tops: Well, what’s the difference? I’m just going to get drunk and take it off anyway.
H&M, Briarwood Mall
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Melanie
Guy: I suck today.
Girl: Depending on how much you suck, i might suck today too.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: pengie
10-year-old: Hey, I think I’m swimming extra good tonight!
Friend: Yeah? Why is that?
10-year-old: I think it’s because we just got back from Red Lobster.
Waterford, Michigan
Overheard by: Gary Lewis
Drunk girl in painful-looking heels to tour group of incoming freshmen: This is your future!
Michigan State University
Girl to pals in line for restroom: … So now I’m dating my boss, my landlord, and financial advisor…
Friend: Wow, that’s intense.
DeVos Performance Hall
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Caty
Chick #1: I worry that I'll become boring.
Chick #2: I think I'm more in danger of that than you.
Chick #1: What? You edit books about transvestite love!
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
Professor: All right. I'm going to start giving the papers back in reverse alphabetical order from last time.
Whispering girl: Damn it! I hate my life.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
