Michigan

Telemarketer: Hi, is Mr. Sa– Sama– Samata–
Guy: Go ahead. You can do it.
Telemarketer: Sama– Samthan– Sermana–
Guy: You mean Mr. [says name]?
Telemarketer: Yes, is Mr. [repeats name] available?
Guy: Nope, sorry [hangs up phone].

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: amused girlfriend

Girl in math class: I mean, seriously. I've been pissing all over these quizzes lately.
Friend: I know, right? Me too.

Michigan State University

Traffic cop: She said, “Do you like it?” and I was like, “Yeah, it looks really nice.” And then she said, “Is it subtle?” and I was like “Jenny*, you’re a black woman with orange and yellow hair!”

Plymouth, Michigan

Overheard by: Morgz

Chick #1: I met him when I was taking my picture in to be framed.
Chick #2: Was it a naked photo of you?
Chick #1: It was a naked lady on a panther.

Michigan

Overheard by: Meister E

History professor: You know how I said that this class wouldn't have a lot of text-heavy PowerPoint slides? Sometimes I lie to you, because that's funny.

Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: i love this school

Woman on cell: Everyone's a Jew, except for the Jews!

Livonia, Michigan

Young boy: Good gracious, I'm high!

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: sjshock

Theater professor: In Shakespeare's plays, SpongeBob would die.

Wayne State University
Detroit, Michigan

Chesty girl, about failing pitcher: I've offered to go to the mound and show him my boobs. I just don't know what else I can do to support this team.

Comerica Park
Detroit, Michigan

Drunk guy to friends: Do you know what time it is? It’s dick-slapping time!

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Kari