Moms

Mother to five-year-old: Keep moving, we don't want to be in the first car. If the train crashes, we'd be done for.

Metro North Railroad
New York City, New York

Overheard by: BOB Sled

Little girl, about sleeping baby sister: Him is sleeping? Him is sleeping?!
Mom, exasperated: No! Her is sleeping!

Kansas

Mom, giving toddler a stocking: That’ll keep you quiet for a minute. [Toddler starts stretching it over his face.] Awww, that’s so cute. Are you gonna go rob a bank?

DSW Shoes
New Jersey

Overheard by: Unburdened shoe shopper

Mother, about a TV: It’s really heavy! It’s as heavy as–
Four-year-old girl: –A dead body.

Bellingen
Australia

Small child entering restroom: Mom, why can't we go to the boys' room? Because I've got a girl with me?
Mom: You are a girl!

Sushi Restaurant
Kansas City, Kansas

Overheard by: zombie z

Mom doing magazine quiz to teenage sons: Spanish can't be one of the world's top languages. The only Spanish-speaking country is Mexico.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Mommy: Let's not attack mommy with a fork.

Salem, Oregon

Overheard by: lauraf

16-year-old: Mom, if you don't have herpes, why'd I find Valtrex in your purse?
Mother, seriously: I got Valtrex from the eye doctor for my yeast infection, Kim*.

Illinois

Mom: I don't know what I should get for him. He likes video games and that kind of stuff. I got him a GameCube last year and he loves it.
Five-year-old child (looks away from game display, shocked): But you told me Santa got me the GameCube!

Best Buy
Seattle, Washington

20-ish mom to man: So what? I mean, I’m miserable, and I still manage to be perky and upbeat…

Boston, Massachusetts