Moms

Six-year-old boy, firmly groping mannequin's backside: I'm popular! I'm popular! Look, mommy!
Flustered mom: Go be popular over there!

Morganton, North Carolina

Overheard by: Carla

Mother, chasing fleeing toddler across library: Stop! Come back! You have separation anxiety!

Christchuch
New Zealand

Overheard by: I suspect it's the other way around…

Exasperated little boy to mother: No, it's not a version, it's a virgin, with a “g”!

Redlands, California

Fat tourist mom: Nah… I don't wanna eat there.
Fat tourist dad, wistfully: Well, it's not McDonald's.

Outside Marcy's Diner
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: townie knows best

Little girl to mother, passing brand new cherry red Porsche Carrera GT convertible: Mama, why is everyone looking at that car?
Mother: Because it's very special.
Little girl: Can I get one?
Mother: Only if you marry well, dear.

Durham, North Carolina

Female tween, following older brother swimming in restricted area: Mom, can I swim where Dave* is?
Mom: No! Swim back over to the shore.
Female tween, in nasal whine: Oh. Myyyyy. God!
Mom: Hey, I gave birth to you. I am your god!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/07/supreme-being.html

Overheard by: matt.

Mom to preteen son: If you don't straighten up your act, I'm sending you back to school with all Hannah Montana notebooks!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/353019058/wouldnt-he-enjoy-that.html

Overheard by: that'll teach him

Mom to two little kids sitting directly behind her on the train: Do you feel a little bit better now that you've got slight independence?

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Overheard by: They were the best behaved children there that day.

Little girl: And then we had orgies.
Mother, very calmly: No honey, we had origami.

Florida

New Yorker, trying to get through a crowd of people blocking aisle: Excuse me. Excuse me! Excuse me!
Confused little boy: I already moved.
New Yorker: Oh, I know you have, dear. I was talking to your fat-ass mother.

Grocery Store
Austin, Texas