Flight attendant: As you depart the aircraft, please check your area for any personal belongings. If you leave anything behind, please make sure that it can either be split three ways or that we can sell it on eBay. Thanks for flying Southwest!
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: robyn
Woman, dropping friend off at airport, then heading to doctor's office: Enjoy your two weeks in France.
Friend: Thanks, enjoy your colonoscopy.
Airport
Ithaca, New York
Bird man: Well, you know, some kids’ll pay 12-hundred dollars a month to live in some tiny room in a tiny apartment.
Cat woman: I lived like that when I was a kid. It’s fun — just living in other people’s apartments.
Bird woman: Yeah! These days it’s more like it’s fun sleeping 20 in a bathtub.
Woodstock, New York
Girl #1: Do you remember that chick we saw that time?
Girl #2: The one at that place?
Girl #1: Yeah, wait, no, that other place.
Girl #2: Yeah. What a whore.
Girl #1: I know, right?
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: not that chick
Guy: You’re allowed to wipe boogers on my girlfriend and fart in her face, but I can’t hit your girlfriend?! That is so hypocritical!
Driver’s Ed class
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Chrissy
Extremely drunk chick crying: I love him so much and he doesn’t even know! He’s my soulmate.
Exasperated sober chick: He’s fictional!
Armory Square
Syracuse, New York
Girl to friend eating yogurt: You know, yogurt makes you shit.
Friend, frightened: Does it, really?
Girl: I dare you to take the Activia challenge.
Friend: Nah! I'm not in the mood to poop today.
Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: i laughed at this
Woman #1: So, how’s it going with you and Dave?
Woman #2: Good! He told me that he loved me!
Woman #1: Really?
Woman #2: Well, yeah, but I’m not looking too far into it because he said it when I had his entire dick in my mouth.
Tim Horton’s
Buffalo, New York
