Yup, Bag Balm

Five-year-old girl in dressing room: Mommy, do you put lotion on your boobies?

Victoria’s Secret
Oceanside, New York

Overheard by: Gette

Posted on September 22, 2015
New York, Questions, Should have used a condom

If You Need a Longer Break, “Fluffy Pink Clouds 101” Is Right Down the Hall

Linda: Ugh, this class is so depressing!
Professor: Let’s all take ten seconds to think about baby lambs to make Linda feel happy. [pause] Okay, back to Terri Schiavo!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Posted on September 14, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Insults, New York, Offers and requests, Philosophy, Teachers

Meet the Inventor Of the Bulletphone

Physics student: If you go faster than the speed of sound, can you…hear…into the future?

Kingston High School
Kingston, New York

Posted on September 12, 2015
Compare and contrast, New York, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Science, Sensory experiences, Students

A Question My Dissertation on The Flintstones Seeks to Get to the Bottom Of

Female grad student on cell: Yeah, but what would be the societal benefit of having a bunch of dinosaurs running around?

SUNY Stony Brook
New York

Posted on August 30, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, New York, On the phone, Questions, Science, Students

That Dog from the Old Navy Commercials?

Mom to adult daughter: Now what you do is you pick an aisle to go down that you think has magic at the end of it.

Dutchess County, New York

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Posted on August 25, 2015
Advice, Family, Girls, Magic, Moms, New York, Parenting

Why Don't You Start and I'll Go Out for a Cigarette Break

Student #1: There are an infinite number of answers?!
AP calc teacher: Yeah, there are.
Student #2: Do you want us to write them all down?

High School
Boiceville, New York

Overheard by: Toasted

Posted on August 13, 2015
Education, New York, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

One More Lifetime Movie Marathon Should Do It, Though

Dining hall boy #1: I haven't gotten my period yet.
Dining hall boy #2: Me neither!

University at Buffalo
Buffalo, New York

Posted on August 12, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Gender issues, Guys, New York, Sexuality, Weirdness

…Mine Just Tells Me to Burn Things.

Mother to teenage daughter: Are you sure you don't want anything?
Skinny teenage daughter: Nah. (shrugs) My uterus isn't happy.
(mother raises a quizzical eyebrow)
Skinny teenage daughter: It's all like: “hello, I'm a uterus, and I'm going to bloat my way through for awhile, and push Ms Stomach organ out through Ms Bellybutton.”
Mother: Oh.

Burger King
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: i just work here…