A Question My Dissertation on The Flintstones Seeks to Get to the Bottom Of

Female grad student on cell: Yeah, but what would be the societal benefit of having a bunch of dinosaurs running around?

SUNY Stony Brook
New York

Posted on August 30, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, New York, On the phone, Questions, Science, Students

That Dog from the Old Navy Commercials?

Mom to adult daughter: Now what you do is you pick an aisle to go down that you think has magic at the end of it.

Dutchess County, New York

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Posted on August 25, 2015
Advice, Family, Girls, Magic, Moms, New York, Parenting

Why Don't You Start and I'll Go Out for a Cigarette Break

Student #1: There are an infinite number of answers?!
AP calc teacher: Yeah, there are.
Student #2: Do you want us to write them all down?

High School
Boiceville, New York

Overheard by: Toasted

Posted on August 13, 2015
Education, New York, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

One More Lifetime Movie Marathon Should Do It, Though

Dining hall boy #1: I haven't gotten my period yet.
Dining hall boy #2: Me neither!

University at Buffalo
Buffalo, New York

Posted on August 12, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Gender issues, Guys, New York, Sexuality, Weirdness

…Mine Just Tells Me to Burn Things.

Mother to teenage daughter: Are you sure you don't want anything?
Skinny teenage daughter: Nah. (shrugs) My uterus isn't happy.
(mother raises a quizzical eyebrow)
Skinny teenage daughter: It's all like: “hello, I'm a uterus, and I'm going to bloat my way through for awhile, and push Ms Stomach organ out through Ms Bellybutton.”
Mother: Oh.

Burger King
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: i just work here…

Posted on August 12, 2015
Body parts, Happiness, Moms, New York, Restaurants, Skinny people, Teens, Uterus, Wishes

I’m Never Borrowing Your Hankie Again

Old lady to another: I don’t like toilet paper. I think it’s such a waste.

Mt. Vernon, New York

Overheard by: Not sure if I should laugh or puke

Posted on August 10, 2015
Health & Hygiene, New York, Old folks

He’s Still Bitter about the Toilet Training

Three-year-old boy yelling at goats: Stop pooping! No more pooping! I said no more pooping!
Mom: Stop yelling at the livestock.

Petting zoo
Long Island, New York

Posted on August 8, 2015
Moms, New York, Poop, Should have used a condom

When Communists and Capitalists Work Together

Flight attendant: As you depart the aircraft, please check your area for any personal belongings. If you leave anything behind, please make sure that it can either be split three ways or that we can sell it on eBay. Thanks for flying Southwest!

Buffalo, New York

Overheard by: robyn

Posted on August 6, 2015
Airports & flights, Flight attendants, Internet, New York, Public transportation

…I Want a Postcard!

Woman, dropping friend off at airport, then heading to doctor's office: Enjoy your two weeks in France.
Friend: Thanks, enjoy your colonoscopy.

Airport
Ithaca, New York

Posted on July 29, 2015
Feelings, Friends, Geography, Health & Hygiene, New York, Women

With a Hair Dryer

Bird man: Well, you know, some kids’ll pay 12-hundred dollars a month to live in some tiny room in a tiny apartment.
Cat woman: I lived like that when I was a kid. It’s fun — just living in other people’s apartments.
Bird woman: Yeah! These days it’s more like it’s fun sleeping 20 in a bathtub.

Woodstock, New York

Posted on July 28, 2015
Friends, Gossip, New York