Mom's Been Running That Con on Dad for Years

Little girl, leaving church: We have to go to bed!
Mom: No, we're going home, and then we're going to eat dinner.
Little girl: And *then* we'll go to bed?
Mom: If you're good.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Hazzenkockle

Posted on April 2, 2018
Florida, Food, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Wishes

Start With Those Who Have Babies

Older woman to her friend: You just don't ask your mother about your sex life. If you have questions, go ask your friends.

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Overheard by: Perplexed

Posted on March 9, 2018
Friends, Old folks, Parenting, Questions, Sex, Tennessee

Thanks, Superglue!

Daughter: Come look at this booth, mom!
Mom: Just a second.
Daughter: Please, mom!
Mom: Ugh, I have like five things to keep track of, one of which is your two siblings.

Earth Day Celebration
Gresham, Oregon

Posted on March 6, 2018
Family, Family ties, Moms, Oregon, Parenting

Tonight, on the Pilot Episode Of The Golden-Palace Girls…

Woman to ten-year-old son: When I'm old and feeble, will you take me in and take care of me?
Ten-year-old son: No. I'm going to put you in a home with a bunch of Asian people.

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: Kids these days.

Posted on March 6, 2018
Age and ageing, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Threats, Virginia

…To Cut Coke with

Girl #1: So I unplugged the phone before I left, so the school can't call my mom to say I'm not at school.
Girl #2: Oh, that's pretty smart.
Girl #1: I also took my dad's credit card.

Train
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on February 7, 2018
Crimes, Girls, Illinois, Parenting, Train

Ever Watch Any Of Bush's Speeches?

Four-year-old: Mommy, that girl speaks English!
Mother: Yes, she does.
Four-year-old: But nobody here speaks English. Does she really speak English?
Mother: Of course she speaks English! She's white!

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/06/canadians-in-ecuador.html

Overheard by: katie

Posted on January 29, 2018
Kids, Language barrier, Moms, Overheard Lines, Parenting, Race, Should have used a condom

They’ll Make You Think, and Care

(little boy and mother pass bake sale)
Little boy: I wanna cookie! I wanna cookie! Can we please get a cookie?
Mother: You don’t want those cookies.
Little boy: What’s wrong with them?
Mother: Those are Democrat cookies.

Bake Sale for Obama Campaign
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on January 22, 2018
Default, Food, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Politics, Wishes

…Just Like the Magician Did Yesterday

Three-year-old girl, emerging from woods near campsite: Mommy, there are sticks in my pee hole.
Mommy: That's okay honey, just pull them out.

Kalalau Valley
Kauai, Hawaii

Posted on January 19, 2018
Hawaii, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Pee, Vagina

Your Editors Just Googled Up 34,000 Hits for “Weird Insertions”

Mother to small boy: No, it's a courgette, dear. You can't light a fire with courgettes.

Sainsbury's Supermarket
Cardiff
Wales

Overheard by: Gordinho

Posted on December 16, 2017
Moms, Parenting, Stupidity, UK, Words

Sigh. For the Last Time, I Could Never Date a Top.

Mom, to little kid: Is she your girlfriend?
Little kid: (shakes head emphatically)
Mom: Oh! I don't mean like that, I mean “friend that's a girl.” I know Jenny is your girlfriend.
Little kid: Yeah!
Mom: And who's your boyfriend?
Little kid: I don't have a boyfriend.
Mom: But I thought Robert was your boyfriend!

Kennedy Space Center
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Isn't he a little young…?

Posted on November 4, 2017
Florida, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Relationships, Sexuality

Parenting