They’ll Make You Think, and Care

(little boy and mother pass bake sale)
Little boy: I wanna cookie! I wanna cookie! Can we please get a cookie?
Mother: You don’t want those cookies.
Little boy: What’s wrong with them?
Mother: Those are Democrat cookies.

Bake Sale for Obama Campaign
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on January 22, 2018
Default, Food, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Politics, Wishes

…Just Like the Magician Did Yesterday

Three-year-old girl, emerging from woods near campsite: Mommy, there are sticks in my pee hole.
Mommy: That's okay honey, just pull them out.

Kalalau Valley
Kauai, Hawaii

Posted on January 19, 2018
Hawaii, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Pee, Vagina

Your Editors Just Googled Up 34,000 Hits for “Weird Insertions”

Mother to small boy: No, it's a courgette, dear. You can't light a fire with courgettes.

Sainsbury's Supermarket
Cardiff
Wales

Overheard by: Gordinho

Posted on December 16, 2017
Moms, Parenting, Stupidity, UK, Words

Sigh. For the Last Time, I Could Never Date a Top.

Mom, to little kid: Is she your girlfriend?
Little kid: (shakes head emphatically)
Mom: Oh! I don't mean like that, I mean “friend that's a girl.” I know Jenny is your girlfriend.
Little kid: Yeah!
Mom: And who's your boyfriend?
Little kid: I don't have a boyfriend.
Mom: But I thought Robert was your boyfriend!

Kennedy Space Center
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Isn't he a little young…?

Posted on November 4, 2017
Florida, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Relationships, Sexuality

I Learned My Lesson with Mary Kate and Ashley

Man pushing newborn in stroller: I’m not capitalizing financially off the cuteness of my daughter.

Denver International Airport security line
Denver, Colorado

Posted on October 5, 2017
Colorado, Dads, Parenting

Kids Start Disappointing You As Soon As They Possibly Can

Little girl: Mom, can I buy that doll house?
Mom: No, you don't have enough money.
Daughter: Can't I just use my college money?
Mom: No.
Daughter: But I don't want to go to college, I want the doll house! I don't want to go to college!

Toy Store
Canadia

Posted on September 24, 2017
Canadia, Education, Kids, Moms, Money, Offers and requests, Parenting, Shopping, Should have used a condom, Stores, Toys, Wishes

And I Know What “Autoeroticism” Means

Four-year-old in shopping cart: Yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda! (repeated over and over)
Mom: Stop that! Stop saying that!
Four-year-old: (continues)
Mom: You don't even know what that means! Just because you don't know what something means doesn't mean you can just repeat it like that. (turns to man behind her in line) I don't know where he gets this stuff.
Four-year-old: I heard it from you, crazy!

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Lindsay

Posted on August 27, 2017
Comebacks, Kids, Moms, Ohio, Parenting, Should have used a condom, Words

Is It Too Late for a Teachable Moment?

Manly guy to male friend carrying fake baby for parenting class: So, did Beth* get her period yet?

Wichita, Kansas

Posted on June 28, 2017
Education, Friends, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Kansas, Parenting, Pregnancy, Questions

Two or More People, Honey

Ten-year-old: Mom, what's “shagging”?
Mom: Um… It's like shedding. You know, like how the cat sheds hair on the couch?
Four-year-old: No, it's not. It's when two people have sex. Jeez!

Clarksville, Indiana

Posted on March 28, 2017
Indiana, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Sex, Should have used a condom

Kids Always Get Payback When You Take Them Shopping

Mom to young son: There's a doggie! Do you know what sound a doggie makes?
Son: Mooo.
Mom, distracted by shiny things: Uh-huh. (pause) Hey! Dogs don't say “moo”!

Target
Leominster, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Manda

Posted on November 1, 2016
Animals, Compare and contrast, Kids, Massachusetts, Moms, Parenting

Parenting