So I Quit My Job on Capitol Hill

20-something girl to friend: Then one day I look around and think: “where did all these penises come from?”

Lee's Diner
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: BoboB

Posted on March 9, 2009
Default, Girls, Massachusetts, Penis, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness

Porn Overload Eventually Destroys Your Ability to Read

Customer looking up at menu board: Umm, I'll have the “German chock a lotta cock.”
(girl scooping ice cream looks horrified)
Customer, now pointing: The “German chock a lotta cock.” It's right there.
Ice cream girl: It's pronounced “German chocolate cake.”

Cold Stone Creamery
Fountain Valley, California

Overheard by: RL

Posted on February 6, 2009
California, Customers, Default, Geography, Girls, Language barrier, Names, Offers and requests, Penis, Stores

Which Was Just Long Enough to Ride the Ferris Wheel

Frat boy: You know we measured his dick and it was like seven inches flaccid.

University of Virginia

Posted on February 4, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Frat boy types, Guys, Penis, Sexuality, Virginia, Weirdness

If You Call Them, They Will Come

Teenage girl: I could say “penis penis penis penis penis” all day and not feel weird about it.

Chino, California

Posted on January 29, 2009
California, Default, Girls, Penis, Teens, Weirdness, Words

It's Like a Headline Writer's Wet Dream

College guy: This must be a joke. We live in a city called “Cumming,” we have a store called “BJ's,” and a store called “Dick's,” and a “Siemens” water tower.

Cumming, Georgia

Posted on January 29, 2009
BJs, Cum, Default, Georgia, Guys, Penis, Students, Words

It's It

College dude to girl: Yeah, so they tagged my penis…

UC Irvine
Irvine, California

Posted on January 6, 2009
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, Penis, Students, Weirdness, Words

…Than a Cocktail Weenie

Sex ed teacher: Now, before I start this class, all of you remember that my penis is bigger.

Australia

Overheard by: Not so sure…

Posted on December 10, 2008
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Guys, Penis, Teachers, Weirdness

Um, This Label Says “For Skin”

Girl: Have you had glandular fever?
Guy: Yes, have you?
Girl: Yeah, the doctor gave me this cream to put on my mouth that was made from stuff that comes from uncircumcised dicks. I was like, “that doctor soooo didn't think I'd read the label.”

Melbourne
Australia

Posted on December 8, 2008
Australia, Default, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Penis, Questions, Weirdness

Remember, These Are the Guys Who Treat Our Nipples Like Radio Dials

Girl #1: I wonder if there are exercises to strengthen that.
Girl #2: I know. I tried to look into it once because I can't go down that far without gagging. Is that weird? I want skill tips.
Girl #1: I just use my hand a lot so I don't have to skit it down far.
Girl #2: Okay, so I think it's because I started out with not a lot of girth, but now guys are like, “you can squeeze harder.” And I'm like, “uuum…are you sure?” I feel like I”m going to break your fucking dick off.
Girl #1: Yeah. It makes it go faster. Dicks are resilient. Get violent.

Madison Children's Museum
Madison, Wisconsin

Posted on November 2, 2008
Advice, BJs, Body parts, Default, Girls, Penis, Violence, Wisconsin

Men Are More Like Women Than We Like to Think

American bimbo, standing in front of an Italian painting of a martyr bleeding from his leg: Uhh, why is he, like, bleeding from his penis?

The Louvre
Paris
France

Overheard by: American art student

Posted on October 31, 2008
Bimbettes, Default, France, Penis, Questions, Stupidity

Penis