But I Still Don't Understand Those Two Dangly Bits

Girl, on sex-ed: Well, I went to a Catholic school and as a result I didn't know what a penis was until I got to high school.
Guy: I think these middle school girls need psychotherapy before they need birth control. 11-year-olds shouldn't be having sex.
Girl: Girls? Why just the girls? They're having sex with 11-year-old boys. You need something to stick in there in order to get pregnant.
Professor: Well, it looks like you found out what a penis was.

University of Northern Iowa
Cedar Falls, Iowa

Posted on April 27, 2009
Christianity, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Iowa, Kids, Penis, Pregnancy, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers

At Least That's What It Said on the Package

Girl in statistics class: She told me, “you're gay.” How can I be gay? I had four–no, five and a half–servings of dick this morning.

Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on April 24, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, New Jersey, Penis, Questions, Sexuality, Students

What? I'm Bendy.

Boy #1: Does this taste good?
Girl #1: Yes, it doesn't taste plasticky at all!
Boy #2: Tastes like penis.

Hollywood, Florida

Overheard by: meaw

Posted on April 21, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Girls, Guys, Penis, Questions

…or at Least It

Girl, discussing the penis of Jon from Watchmen: I mean, I heard from someone that they actually made it smaller, so guys wouldn't feel embarrassed when they saw it on screen.
TA: Actually, they enhanced it.
Girl: What? Damn it, I wanted to marry him…

Whittier College
Whittier, California

Overheard by: Sam. the blind

Posted on April 11, 2009
California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Penis, Questions, Relationships, Students, Weirdness

So I Quit My Job on Capitol Hill

20-something girl to friend: Then one day I look around and think: “where did all these penises come from?”

Lee's Diner
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: BoboB

Posted on March 9, 2009
Default, Girls, Massachusetts, Penis, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness

Porn Overload Eventually Destroys Your Ability to Read

Customer looking up at menu board: Umm, I'll have the “German chock a lotta cock.”
(girl scooping ice cream looks horrified)
Customer, now pointing: The “German chock a lotta cock.” It's right there.
Ice cream girl: It's pronounced “German chocolate cake.”

Cold Stone Creamery
Fountain Valley, California

Overheard by: RL

Posted on February 6, 2009
California, Customers, Default, Geography, Girls, Language barrier, Names, Offers and requests, Penis, Stores

Which Was Just Long Enough to Ride the Ferris Wheel

Frat boy: You know we measured his dick and it was like seven inches flaccid.

University of Virginia

Posted on February 4, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Frat boy types, Guys, Penis, Sexuality, Virginia, Weirdness

If You Call Them, They Will Come

Teenage girl: I could say “penis penis penis penis penis” all day and not feel weird about it.

Chino, California

Posted on January 29, 2009
California, Default, Girls, Penis, Teens, Weirdness, Words

It's Like a Headline Writer's Wet Dream

College guy: This must be a joke. We live in a city called “Cumming,” we have a store called “BJ's,” and a store called “Dick's,” and a “Siemens” water tower.

Cumming, Georgia

Posted on January 29, 2009
BJs, Cum, Default, Georgia, Guys, Penis, Students, Words

It's It

College dude to girl: Yeah, so they tagged my penis…

UC Irvine
Irvine, California

Posted on January 6, 2009
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, Penis, Students, Weirdness, Words

Penis