Thug to two others, leaving subway: Yo, let's hurry. I want to get good seats so I can suck her daddy's dick.
Government Center
Boston, Massachsetts
Overheard by: Jchill
Thug to two others, leaving subway: Yo, let's hurry. I want to get good seats so I can suck her daddy's dick.
Government Center
Boston, Massachsetts
Overheard by: Jchill
Small boy with ice cream cone, trying to get mom's attention: I peed my pants! I peed my pants! Mommy, listen to me, I peed my pants!
Mom, deadpan: I bet that's real uncomfortable for you.
Dad to son: When we get home we are just gonna have to hose you down.
Son to dad: Oh yeah, make me lay on the yard and then spray the hose on me, and on my penis, and down my pants on my penis!
Boy's brother, from minivan: Ew! You can spell the pee!
Bucks County, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: free birth control
Guy: I am making this shitty 50% less sodium Progresso chicken noodle soup. Tastes like penis!
Girl: Always an appealing taste.
Guy: If I ever get a twitter, that's my first status.
Girl: I'm tempted to get one. (pause) A twitter, not a penis.
University of Kansas
Girl walking with two friends: God, you guys suck so bad! But, whatever…it means four whole penises for me. Yay!
Livermore, California
Enthusiastic woman, yelling over hand dryer: Circumcision is the way forward!
Women's Bathroom
The Gate, Newcastle
England
Overheard by: Mell
Lesbian: They think that just because I like girls, I think with my penis. It's rubber!
Sydney
Australia
Girl, on sex-ed: Well, I went to a Catholic school and as a result I didn't know what a penis was until I got to high school.
Guy: I think these middle school girls need psychotherapy before they need birth control. 11-year-olds shouldn't be having sex.
Girl: Girls? Why just the girls? They're having sex with 11-year-old boys. You need something to stick in there in order to get pregnant.
Professor: Well, it looks like you found out what a penis was.
University of Northern Iowa
Cedar Falls, Iowa
Girl in statistics class: She told me, “you're gay.” How can I be gay? I had four–no, five and a half–servings of dick this morning.
Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Boy #1: Does this taste good?
Girl #1: Yes, it doesn't taste plasticky at all!
Boy #2: Tastes like penis.
Hollywood, Florida
Overheard by: meaw
Girl, discussing the penis of Jon from Watchmen: I mean, I heard from someone that they actually made it smaller, so guys wouldn't feel embarrassed when they saw it on screen.
TA: Actually, they enhanced it.
Girl: What? Damn it, I wanted to marry him…
Whittier College
Whittier, California
Overheard by: Sam. the blind
