English professor: Make that language your bitch.
Ursinus College
Pennsylvania
English professor: Make that language your bitch.
Ursinus College
Pennsylvania
Counselor: What do you need Legos for?
Nine-year-old boy: To make weaponry!
Center for Autism and Emotional Support
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy: We're cool now.
Girl: What?
Guy: I said we're cool now.
Girl: Oh, yeah, I know. That's why I smiled at you instead of slitting my throat.
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Girl: I feel like, you know, I'm, like, going out with a different guy almost every single night. You know?
Guy: Well, I think that's because you're a whore.
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: oh well, okay
Friend #1, driving: Yeah, she'll be okay with it, she'll just be like…oh, motherfucker, I'll stab you in the face!!
Friend #2: What?
Friend #1: She'll be okay with it, though, she'll just be like…pedidle!
Friend #2: (silence)
Friend #1: What?! Did you see that car? She'll be okay with it, she'll just be like, oh…okay.
Bentleyville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: concerned friend
Professor: So my kid walked in on us last night…
Student in class: Well, you gave them the talk, why not say you were wrestling or something?
Professor: Well, I have no way to explain the handcuffs.
Penn State
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Woman #1: Having alcoholism isn't like having cancer. People don't like you more for having beat it.
Woman #2: Amen.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Barber, as 23-year-old boy with bad haircut sits down into his chair: So what's with this bowl cut thing you got going on?
The Barber Shop
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Will
Woman #1: You know what I learned the other day? Social Darwinism.
(awkward pause)
Woman #2: Really? How's that working for you?
Woman #1: Well, it sure explains a lot.
Library, Arcadia University
Glenside, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Xander
Skinny punk teen girl: Oh, I love lime rickeys. But my favorite drink–when I'm not pregnant–is a rum rickey.
Franklin Fountain
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: office peon
