To Be Fair, This Is His Answer to Everything

Instructor to swim class: Okay, who can tell me one thing we can wear to protect ourselves from the sun?
Three-year-old boy, after much thought: Teeth!

YMCA
Easton, Pennsylvania

Posted on May 27, 2009
Body parts, Default, Guys, Kids, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Questions, Teachers

Every Presentation Was Brought to Us by the Letter “O”

Chick: I was in your area during lunch and thought about asking you to meet me for a quickie.
Dude: What the fuck? And you didn't, because…?
Chick: I had to drive some coworkers back to the city. Wasn't sure what to do with them while we copulated.
Dude: Do what my parents did, sit them down in front of the tv, turn on Sesame Street and turn it up!

Conshohocken, Pennsylvania

Posted on May 22, 2009
Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sex, TV shows

Um, Okay.

Sorority girl #1: Oh my god! I am like, not okay. I am not okay.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, are you okay?
Sorority girl #1: Yeah, I'm okay. But do you see me? I am not okay!

Bathroom, Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: just trying to pee

Posted on May 21, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Girls, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sorority types, Words

…That I Dipped in Cat-Food.

Teen girl #1 to friend: Ew, your breath smells like fish!
Teen girl #2: It's 'cause of the Swedish fish.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 28, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Geography, Girls, Pennsylvania, Teens

I Just Wanted Permanent Safe Sex.

Flamboyant guy to another: There are just some things you can't laminate.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on March 26, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Pennsylvania, Queers, Weirdness, Words

Free Clinic Waiting Rooms, for Instance.

Loud woman on cell: If you're looking for a place to make friends and be sociable, you can do a lot better than AA.

Supermarket
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: the cashier

Posted on March 20, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Names, Pennsylvania, Relationships, Women

Just Don't Expect It to Say Your Name

English professor: Make that language your bitch.

Ursinus College
Pennsylvania

Posted on March 16, 2009
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Insults, Pennsylvania, Teachers, Words

Ever Feel Like Autistic Kids Are Just Silently Plotting the Revolution?

Counselor: What do you need Legos for?
Nine-year-old boy: To make weaponry!

Center for Autism and Emotional Support
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 13, 2009
Compare and contrast, Counselors, Default, Games, Guys, Kids, Pennsylvania, Questions

I've Got Just Those Two Settings

Guy: We're cool now.
Girl: What?
Guy: I said we're cool now.
Girl: Oh, yeah, I know. That's why I smiled at you instead of slitting my throat.

Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Posted on March 8, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions

That's What My Shrink Said!

Girl: I feel like, you know, I'm, like, going out with a different guy almost every single night. You know?
Guy: Well, I think that's because you're a whore.

University of Pennsylvania

Overheard by: oh well, okay

Posted on February 27, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Insults, Pennsylvania, Questions, Words