Girl #1: It's like putting a band-aid on when you need stitches.
Girl #2: Oh, thats a good one.
Girl #3: Yeah, and then the band-aid falls off and it gets infected.
Girl #1: And then you get gangrene and you leg falls off.
Girl #3: Only we could be trying to be supportive and morbid at the same time…
Belleville, Pennsylvania
Small boy with ice cream cone, trying to get mom's attention: I peed my pants! I peed my pants! Mommy, listen to me, I peed my pants!
Mom, deadpan: I bet that's real uncomfortable for you.
Dad to son: When we get home we are just gonna have to hose you down.
Son to dad: Oh yeah, make me lay on the yard and then spray the hose on me, and on my penis, and down my pants on my penis!
Boy's brother, from minivan: Ew! You can spell the pee!
Bucks County, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: free birth control
Instructor to swim class: Okay, who can tell me one thing we can wear to protect ourselves from the sun?
Three-year-old boy, after much thought: Teeth!
YMCA
Easton, Pennsylvania
Chick: I was in your area during lunch and thought about asking you to meet me for a quickie.
Dude: What the fuck? And you didn't, because…?
Chick: I had to drive some coworkers back to the city. Wasn't sure what to do with them while we copulated.
Dude: Do what my parents did, sit them down in front of the tv, turn on Sesame Street and turn it up!
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania
Sorority girl #1: Oh my god! I am like, not okay. I am not okay.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, are you okay?
Sorority girl #1: Yeah, I'm okay. But do you see me? I am not okay!
Bathroom, Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: just trying to pee
Teen girl #1 to friend: Ew, your breath smells like fish!
Teen girl #2: It's 'cause of the Swedish fish.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Flamboyant guy to another: There are just some things you can't laminate.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Kate
Loud woman on cell: If you're looking for a place to make friends and be sociable, you can do a lot better than AA.
Supermarket
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: the cashier
English professor: Make that language your bitch.
Ursinus College
Pennsylvania
Counselor: What do you need Legos for?
Nine-year-old boy: To make weaponry!
Center for Autism and Emotional Support
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
