I Politely Schooled Her in the Art Of Saying, “Wassup, Biiiiitches?”

Girl #1: And she was like, “Hi, I'm Ashley” and stuck out her hand.
Girl #2: Did you smack her in the head? And tell her to stop talking like that?

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on January 14, 2009
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Pennsylvania, Questions, Violence

It's A Little Funny?

Father on phone to wife: No, it was at dinner, and then this drunk at the next table made a comment about our son. No. He said Josh looked like “a retarded page from the dark ages.” That's not funny. (long pause) I'll schedule him for a haircut tomorrow.

Pennsylvania

Posted on January 13, 2009
Age and ageing, Dads, Default, Drinking & drunks, Family ties, Food, Guys, History, Pennsylvania

Do Some Real Bioengineering

Prof: Let's get down to the meat and bolts of it.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvaia

Posted on January 5, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Pennsylvania, Teachers, Weirdness

We'll Drive Over to the PTA Meeting Together

Middle aged woman whispering to bald man at the bar: Put on a thong and meet me outside in five.

Irish Pub
Lafayette Hill, Pennsylvania

Posted on January 3, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Clothes, Default, Pennsylvania, Sexuality, Weirdness, Women

Or Dead– Whichever

Elevator repair man: Hey, I got a call that someone was stuck in the elevator.
Security guard: Yeah, but I haven't heard any more noise from her in like four hours, so I guess she's fine.

Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on January 2, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Jobs & Careers, Pennsylvania, Stupidity, Weirdness

So Now He Must Be Punished

Four-year-old girl: What about Steven?!
Six-year-old girl: He's my new boyfriend, and I told his sister that I love him but she didn't tell him. But he's my boyfriend and he doesn't know it.

Pennsylvania

Posted on December 30, 2008
Default, Family ties, Feelings, Girls, Gossip, Kids, Pennsylvania, Questions, Relationships

The Source of Her Confusion is That Her Ceiling is Covered with Postcards

Girl: Hey, how about this one? Have you heard the one about the ceiling?
Blonde: Um, no.
Girl: Oh, well never mind, it's *way* too over your head.
Blonde: No, tell me! I'm not that dumb!
Girl (shaking head): Never mind, you don't get it. Hmmm, what about the one about the postcard with no stamp? Oh, never mind, you wouldn't ever get it.
Blonde: Really, I think I could. Tell me, let me try!

Spring Grove, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 23, 2008
Default, Girls, Insults, Pennsylvania, Questions, Stupidity

Let's See If She'll Be Trying with You After This

Cute chick in line: Oh! I want Haribo gummi bears! I need a snack to study effectively. There are lots of things I don't do effectively without snacking.
Boyfriend: Maybe you should try snacking next time we have sex. You know, maybe a little popcorn…a candy bar…
Cute chick: Are you saying my sex isn't effective? Well, maybe there won't be a next time.
Boyfriend: You know, you're not responding very well to constructive criticism. The solution is to keep trying, not to give up.

CVS
University City, Philadelphia

Overheard by: justtryingtowaitinline