Burly dude to friend: Last week I took a crap that was like having a second job.

Truck stop, I-81
Allentown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Tha WB

Teenage girl to friend, giggling: So then she said she was going to put diarrhea on my face!


Gay man: Listen, we've all shat, we've all farted, we've all touched ourselves, and we've all used a dildo.
Girls: Ummm… no.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Teen girl in bathroom #1: I'd hate to be a guy and have to use a urinal.
Teen girl in bathroom #2: Oh yeah, that thing looks unsanitary.
Teen girl in bathroom #1: Not even that, but like if you had to go poop then everyone would know it.
Teen girl in bathroom #3: You can't poop in a urinal?

High School
Coral Springs, Florida

Dad, changing son's diaper: Why don't you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?

New Jersey

Woman #1: I love the smell of rain.
Woman #2: The only thing I smell is elephant shit.

Alabama State Fair

Overheard by: Wendy and Joe

Drunk girl: Hey. Hey! Everyone be quiet for a second — I want to make a toast. I just want to remind everyone why we’re here, and that’s because my brother finally shit successfully.
Drunk guy: What the fuck did she just say?

House party
Holbrook, New York

Overheard by: pc

Lecturer: No, seriously! I promise I won't talk about poo next week!


Overheard by: ellie.

Daughter: You sure are being stupid today.
Mom: Duh, I have bird poo in my hair.

Seattle, Washington

Fat guy: So, I was getting head when all of a sudden I got this case of explosive diarrhea! I shitted everywhere, dude!

University of Hartford
West Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Joa