Lecturer: No, seriously! I promise I won't talk about poo next week!


Overheard by: ellie.

Daughter: You sure are being stupid today.
Mom: Duh, I have bird poo in my hair.

Seattle, Washington

Fat guy: So, I was getting head when all of a sudden I got this case of explosive diarrhea! I shitted everywhere, dude!

University of Hartford
West Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Joa

Guy on cell, after an exam: It was like the big turd finally dropped, now all I have to worry about are little turds.

Louisiana State University

Overheard by: glad she went to class

Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: So, this is totally random, but if a gay black man has anal sex, do you think he can see if he has shit on his dick when he’s done?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Uh…
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: How sick would that be? I mean, they’re black. Well, actually, they’re brown. And shit is brown, you know? So how can they tell?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: I would hope they’d notice.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Think about it! Walking around with shit on your dick? Nasty.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Maybe that’s why some black people smell bad.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Oh my god! You’re so right. Ew! If I were a gay man, I’d never take it up the ass from a black guy.

530 Church Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Caryn

Girl: Jazmin*, what was you doing in the bathroom?
Jazmin: Oh, you know…
Boy across the hall: She was taking a dump!
Jazmin: Yup! That’s what we do all day, every day.

Public High School
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: andromeda

20-something brunette: I mean, what else are you supposed to do when someone shits their pants…drink more vodka!

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Chaser

Professor: You don't want to have a thin-skinned Prime Minister who's afraid of puffin poo.

University of Ottawa

American history professor: So this Bacon guy died of the flux. Or as I like to say, he shat himself to death.

University Of Louisiana
Monroe, Louisiana

Overheard by: a bored Am. History student

Girl #1 in bathroom stall: My poop looks awesome! It has things in it! Come, look!
Girl #2 (waiting outside stall): No.
Girl #1: Come on!
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Please?
Girl #2: No! I never will.
Girl #1: I just won't flush it and then you'll have to look.
Girl #2: You better flush that shit!

Grand Rapids, Michigan