Why Twitter Was Invented

Guy on cell walking past elephants: I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.

Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida

Posted on May 26, 2020
Animals, Body parts, Florida, Guys, Poop, Tourist attractions

I'm Glad You Recognize It As an Inevitability

Wife: Would you still love me if I peed my pants?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: Would you still love me if I shit my pants?
Husband: We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on May 19, 2020
Feelings, Hubbies, Pee, Poop, Questions, Relationships, Tennessee

It’s Good to Have Plans

Drunk girl: I want to find a really kinky man tonight and shit on his chest.

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/150318.html

Posted on May 6, 2020
Drunks, Kink, Overheard in Melbourne's Journal, Poop

Wait– What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on March 29, 2020
Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Kids, Lies, Michigan, Moms, Poop, Questions, Restaurants, Sensory experiences, Siblings

…I've Been Saving That Up All Semester.

Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?

College
Massachusetts

Posted on February 26, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Jesus, Massachusetts, Poop, Questions, Religious fanatics, Teachers

The Magic Night Cletus Met Brandine

Male redneck: You can come over, but you can't be shittin' in my bathroom.
(female redneck is silent)
Male redneck: Seriously… I like you and all, but I don't know you good enough for you to be stankin' up my bathroom.
(they leave together)

Project Lounge
Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: these are the people who get to have sex?

Posted on February 8, 2020
Mississippi, Poop, Rednecks, Relationships

Fine, Call It “Guano” If That Makes You Feel Better

Man to son: Stop talking about vampire bats and focus on your poop.

San Diego, California

Posted on February 2, 2020
Advice, Animals, California, Dads, Default, Family ties, Poop

Winston Churchill Pushes the Allies to Invade Sicily

Guy on cell: I believe in signs, dude. I took a dump and it was totally shaped like a boot. I'm going to Italy.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/07/guy-discussing-his-vacation-plans.html

Overheard by: alicia

Posted on December 25, 2019
Default, Guys, On the phone, Overheard Lines, Poop, Weirdness

I’m Still Tasting Yesterday’s

Crazy bag lady: Can I have that shirt? I’m all dirty and nasty.
Young guy: No, I need this for work.
Crazy bag lady: Oh. Can I shit in your mouth?
Young guy: Um, no.

Washington, DC

Posted on October 9, 2019
Bag ladies, Clothing, Poop, Washington, DC

Well, I Guess It Depends What He'd Eaten That Day

Female diner #1: I mean, he was awesome. He had a lifeguard body. If he shit, I would eat it.
Female diner #2: (pushes food away)

O'Callaghan's
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on August 25, 2019
Food, Illinois, Poop, Weirdness, Women

Poop