American history professor: So this Bacon guy died of the flux. Or as I like to say, he shat himself to death.
University Of Louisiana
Monroe, Louisiana
Overheard by: a bored Am. History student
American history professor: So this Bacon guy died of the flux. Or as I like to say, he shat himself to death.
University Of Louisiana
Monroe, Louisiana
Overheard by: a bored Am. History student
Girl #1 in bathroom stall: My poop looks awesome! It has things in it! Come, look!
Girl #2 (waiting outside stall): No.
Girl #1: Come on!
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Please?
Girl #2: No! I never will.
Girl #1: I just won't flush it and then you'll have to look.
Girl #2: You better flush that shit!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Mom: No! Don't walk on that! (kid continues to walk on grass) I hope you step in dog shit.
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
Overheard by: christa
Guy from inside Port-A-Potty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my BlackBerry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, somebody’s got to stick their hand in there!
Dude waiting in line: I think I’ll use the other one. I don’t want to be the first person to piss on your BlackBerry.
Rock the Farm Benefit
East Hampton, New York
Little girl, inside port-a-potty: Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy: Just be quiet and go potty.
Little girl: Mommy, do you know what it feels like in here? It’s like a little house where I’ll always be protected.
Renaissance Festival
Maryland
Overheard by: Nancy Whiskey
Guy on cell walking past elephants: I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.
Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida
Wife: Would you still love me if I peed my pants?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: Would you still love me if I shit my pants?
Husband: We'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Nashville, Tennessee
Drunk girl: I want to find a really kinky man tonight and shit on his chest.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/150318.html
Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.
Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan
Overheard by: Scott
Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?
College
Massachusetts