Hipster girl to another: I consider myself single, except for the part where I have a boyfriend… so I can’t cheat on him.
St. Louis, Missouri
Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
Hypothetically. If I Had Done It. Which I Didn’t.
Private school girl: Did I tell you what Jane* asked me?
Best friend: No.
Private school girl: She was all like, ‘Did you hook up with a homeless guy?’ and I was all like, ‘No, of course not! Never say that again!‘
Best friend, laughing hard: I can’t believe you did that!
Private school girl: What, hooked up with a homeless guy? It’s not a big deal.
Haight Street
San Francisco, California
Um, There’s No One There
Girl, pointing: That kid — he’s my new friend.
Friend: What? That tiny kid?
Girl: Yeah. You said I need a new friend. That kid is my new friend.
Friend: Whatever.
Girl: I think his name is Kyle.
Cosmo Park
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
…Advertised As Used Bicycles
Cab driver, ending phone call: That’s why you never marry a chick that’ll swallow for an extra $20. Can’t believe people like that are on Craigslist!
Boston, Massachusetts
Our Sex Life Is Gaggleicious
19-year-old girlfriend: You’re a silly goose!
19-year-old boyfriend: You are too!
19-year-old girlfriend: That’s why we are dating!
Memphis, Tennessee
Or Frosted Tips!
Guy #1: Yeah, me and that guy have had a total communication breakdown…like, he was talking to me about tin foil! I dunno.
Guy #2, after a pause: Yeah, we should get some lottery tickets.
Exeter
England
…And Later Hired As My Nanny
Receptionist to executive assistant: …so in conclusion, I got peed on…by a taxi driver…who I dated.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/316536671/and-it-didnt-work-out.html
Overheard by: Ian
Trust Me– I Gave Derek His First Blow Job.
Sophomore girl #1: Did you hear Matt and Derek are going out now?
Sophomore girl #2: No way! I totally gave Matt his first blow job. He can’t be gay! (pauses) Oh my god! Do you think I turned him gay?
Passing junior guy: Yeah, that’d do it.
High School
Annapolis, Maryland
When the Need to Be Offensive Overcomes the Need to Get Laid
Short boy, yelling inches away from short girl’s face: We should hang out!
Short girl: (walks away silently)
Tall boy, laughing: Dude!
High School
Eugene, Oregon
Wish I Was a Sociopath Like My Dad
Drunk guy to girlfriend: I care about you a lot. It sucks.
Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey
