Man on phone: So I took my dick out of her ass and started smoking a cigarette… What else was I supposed to do?
Subway
New York City, New York
Obvious minor: Can I get a pack of Marlboro lights?
Mini-mart man: Do you have ID?
Obvious minor, indignant: Yeah, but I don't have it on me!
Mini-mart man: Would you like two packs for $9.45?
Obvious minor: No thanks, I'm trying to cut down.
Greenport, New York
Hyper girl: He smokes more cigarettes than a chimney!
Main Street
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: velvin
Man smoking grape shisha out of a hookah: I don’t think I like that one. It tastes just like heroin.
Girlfriend: You can’t just go around saying things taste like heroin!
Virginia
Gay white male, exiting train: I can only go ten stops without smoking a cigarette, otherwise I get angry!
Old black female, entering train: Damn, mo' sugar in here than a tank of Kool-Aid.
Orange Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic C62
Girl to friend: He's like the crocodile hunter of smoking cigarettes and really slutty girls.
Plymouth, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Liz Nelson
Loud 40-something suit on cell: Yeah, let's sit around smoking ganja on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and you can teach me Swahili.
Giant Eagle Grocery
Medina, Ohio
Tourist: Wait, so you can't smoke cigarettes, but you can smoke pot?
Local guy: Welcome to California!
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Arielle
Guy #1: Hey dude, I was super stoned last night when I studied for this sociology test. I totally understood it and it all made sense.
Guy #2: Damn. I should try that.
Guy #1: No, dude, cause now I can't remember what I read.
University Of Minnesota
Duluth, Minnesota
Girl: I'm gonna miss smoking.
Guy: We both will. Oh, well…
Girl: I'll just replace it by giving you blowjobs all the time.
Guy: Yeah, we can't do that in public.
Girl: We can carry around a tent. Or I can carry around a parasol, and if anyone asks I can say I'm under my property and they're trespassing.
New Jersey
