Government Job?

Woman on cell: Yeah, I'm on my way to work. I gotta stop for cigarettes and a cocktail.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/06/its-ok-im-pilot.html

Overheard by: aaron

Posted on September 16, 2015
Drinking & drunks, Jobs & Careers, On the phone, Overheard in PDX, Smoking, Women

Oh Honey, I Would Put Your Marlboro Out With My Tongue

Obviously-not-18-year-old girl, handing man money: Go get me a pack of Camels number nine, please.
20-something man: Are you serious? They're going to think I'm fruity. (walks into store, immediately walks back out) I can't buy them. That girl is working.
Obviously-not-18-year-old girl: I'm sorry, would you like me to buy Marlboro Reds? That's a manlier cigarette.
20-something man: That'd be great. (goes back in and returns with Marlboro Reds): Sorry about that. Uh, if I don't get my type of cigarettes then I think they'd get suspicious.
Obviously-not-18-year-old girl: You don't even smoke.

Akron, Ohio

Posted on August 23, 2015
Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Ohio, Smoking, Weirdness

No More Decisions for You, My Pet

Smoking man in expensive suit to smoking woman in expensive dress: And then, either way, you're a zombie. Right?

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on August 11, 2015
Canadia, Couples, Death & dying, Maladies, Questions, Smokers, Smoking

I Suppose the Holes in the Balls Are Also Off Limits?

Vice principal: Listen up, everyone! The rules of the school also apply at the bowling alley. If you smoke, drink, or do drugs, we will call the cops. If you break anything, you will have to pay. If you hump the ball machine for the sake of irony, you will be sent home. That means you, Aaron*!
Aaron*: Aw, man!

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on July 23, 2015
Colorado, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Guys, Money, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Smoking, Students, Teachers, Threats

The Last Temptation of Christie

Chick on cell: Christie! Christie! You better not smoke all of your cigarettes today! [Snaps phone shut.]

http://ohinmpls.blogspot.com/2006/10/mullet-lady-on-18-screaming-into-her.html

Overheard by: amy

Posted on July 14, 2015
On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Smoking

Dear Diary, The Refined Chitchat Is Still Not Working

Man: Hey, what are you girls doing?
Woman #1, uninterested: Cigarette break.
Man: So, what are you girls up to?
Woman #2: Cigarette break.
Man: So, you girls interested in a threesome?

Central Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on July 9, 2015
Default, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Massachusetts, Smoking, Time Management, Women, Words

Last Time I Use Flammable Lube

Man on phone: So I took my dick out of her ass and started smoking a cigarette… What else was I supposed to do?

Subway
New York City, New York

Posted on July 3, 2015
Backdoor, Default, Guys, New York, On the phone, Penis, Questions, Smoking, Train, Weirdness

For the Sake Of the Wife and Kids

Obvious minor: Can I get a pack of Marlboro lights?
Mini-mart man: Do you have ID?
Obvious minor, indignant: Yeah, but I don't have it on me!
Mini-mart man: Would you like two packs for $9.45?
Obvious minor: No thanks, I'm trying to cut down.

Greenport, New York

Posted on November 26, 2014
Clients, Employees, Money, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Shopping, Smoking

Chimney: Hey, I Only Smoke When I Drink

Hyper girl: He smokes more cigarettes than a chimney!

Main Street
Northampton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: velvin

Posted on November 21, 2014
Chicks, Massachusetts, Smoking

And If Anything Tastes Like Heroin, It’s Your Jizz

Man smoking grape shisha out of a hookah: I don’t think I like that one. It tastes just like heroin.
Girlfriend: You can’t just go around saying things taste like heroin!

Virginia

Posted on December 3, 2013
Couples, Smoking, Virginia