Breathing Is So ’90s

Hipster: I want to start spitting, so I’ve decided to take up smoking.

Canadia

Posted on August 10, 2022
Canadia, Hipsters, Smoking

And Let’s Get Some Chewing Tobacco to Spit

Girl, to two guys smoking in a bar: Oh my gosh! Smoking? Gross! (walks away, disgusted)
Guy #1: You wanna follow her and smoke?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, I do.

Denver, Colorado

Posted on August 4, 2022
Colorado, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Smoking, Wishes

Okay, You Don't Have to Show Me.

Grandson, watching grandmother hold cigar as if it was a joint: If grandma takes off her bra and burns it, I'm gonna freak out.
Grandma: Oh, Simon! I'm not wearing one.

Spencer, Iowa

Posted on July 23, 2022
Drugs, Family, Family ties, Iowa, Old folks, Smoking, Undies, Weirdness

And They're Less Of a Drag

Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don't need you anymore. I got cigarettes.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Matt

Posted on October 18, 2021
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Hobos, Smoking, Stores

Oh, Right: “I'm a Smoker Now.”

Guy #1: Dude, how do you blow smoke rings!
Guy #2 jokingly: It is the same as sucking dick.
Guy #1: Oh, okay! (blows smoke rings effortlessly)
Guy #2: Do you need to tell me something, man?

Hookah Bar
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Posted on January 15, 2021
Bars & Clubs, BJs, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Guys, Penis, Questions, Sexuality, Smoking

But It Makes a Cool Gurgling Sound

10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, if you smoke it that way you can still get cancer. But if you smoke it through a water bong… yeah, about the same.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Lauren

Posted on April 2, 2020
Advice, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Kids, Maladies, Smoking

None Of Them Are Filtered

Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn't, I don't smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I'm not gay!

Park
Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on March 27, 2020
Kids, Mouth, Ohio, Sexuality, Smoking, Teens, Thugs

Burned My Eyebrows Off More Than Once

Girl #1: It's like those candy cigarettes you used to get at Halloween. It teaches kids bad principles.
Girl #2: Those taste like crap anyway.
Guy: Yeah, and they never catch.

Boone, North Carolina