But If You’d Like to Come See Me about Fellatio, I’m Wide Open

Student, discussing paper topics: I’d kind of like to do prostitution… Is that too easy?
Professor: Why not? Prostitution is fun! Everybody likes doing prostitution.

Arizona State University
Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Auntie Maim

Posted on May 17, 2021
Arizona, Education, Students, Teachers

When the Veil Lifts, Revealing the Male Mystery

Girl: So, I was here yesterday and there was this, like, gorgeous guy standing in front of me. And then guess what he did? He let one go! Seriously! It wasn’t quiet, either — more like someone ripping carpet off a floor. I wondered if he’d messed himself… Gnarls Barkley again? Don’t they have any other mixed tapes?

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatyork/

Posted on May 13, 2021
Burping & farting, Overheard at York, Students

…With My Hand Down My Pants Like This.

English teacher to class: Apostrophes and semicolons really turn me on.
Class: (horrified silence)
English teacher, to self: Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

High School
Wisconsin

Posted on May 12, 2021
Education, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Wisconsin, Words

Someone's Always in the Kitchen With Dinah

TA on cell: No, I do not want to play “guess who's pregnant?” again.

University of Florida

Overheard by: nick

Posted on May 11, 2021
Colleges & Universities, Default, Florida, Games, Offers and requests, On the phone, Pregnancy, Questions, Students

The Prelude to This Season's Greatest Love Story

Hobo sitting on sidewalk: Hey, can you spare some change?
Student: Sorry, man. I'm as broke as you right now.
Hobo: Grab a seat.

Guelph
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on May 6, 2021
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Hobos, Money, Offers and requests, Panhandling, Students

As You Should Know All Too Well, Cuntrella

Teacher: Does anyone know how to spell that?
(silence)
Student: Looks like it’s time to whip out the dic!
Teacher: Some words should *not* be shortened.

High School Classroom
Rhode Island

Posted on May 1, 2021
Default, Education, Questions, Rhode Island, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Words

Portrait Of the Sound-Effects Guy As a Young Man

Biology teacher: Parvo disease is a disease in mammals that can be fatal; squirrels, cats and dogs can all get it.
Kid, whispering quietly to himself: Ruff! Ruff ruff! Kaboom!

Florida

Posted on April 22, 2021
Animals, Florida, Maladies, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

Except That Donatello Would Never Leave You Dangling

Teacher: See, adjectives are boring old turtles.
Students: Uhhh.
Teacher: But participles are like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Marshall High School
Virginia

Overheard by: amused student….

Posted on March 26, 2021
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Pop culture, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Words

So It’s Not a Chain,Then?

Student #1: … And this concludes my presentation on Sudan. Are there any questions?
Student #2: Sudan… Is that where that Hotel Rwanda thing happened?
Professor: No, that would be Rwanda.

International Marketing class, University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: Meagan

Posted on March 23, 2021
Class, Nebraska, Students, Stupidity

Like, They Could Be Electronic or Something

Freshman, walking out of library: Geez, these books are heavy! They should make, like, lighter versions of books…

Melbourne University
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Eavesdropper…

Posted on March 19, 2021
Australia, Compare and contrast, Gripes, Sensory experiences, Students, Wishes