Students

Girl #1: I know for a fact this year is going to be way better than last year.
Girl #2: Why’s that?
Girl #1: Because this year I actually have designer clothes. Last year I didn?t have any, and I was so unhappy!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/06/15/sanity-and-happiness-are-an-impossible-combination-mark-twain/

Overheard by:

Male student: This one time I pissed in a trash bag, and I stuck my head in there just to see how bad it would smell.
Female student: What?
Male student: It was so hot and I was like sweating.

Springside School/Chestnut Hill Academy
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: spectaculore

College sorostitute: Well, I thought we'd been dating for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said “single.”
Non-slutty college friend: You had to use Facebook to…
College sorostitute: Also, did you know he had a kid?

Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Nuddles

Loud grad student in restaurant: I don’t know why anyone would want to be a relativist when they could be an expressivist!

Overheard by: Monkey

Dry lecturer to class: Given the grades you got in the test, you should really be listening to what I'm saying. (pause) That's rather bitchy, isn't it? It's my way of saying: “shut the whatever up.”

University of Auckland
New Zealand

Student: Somebody drew a triforce in the bathroom.
Teacher: There’s a penis in the hall and now a triforce in the bathroom?

English Class
Arcadia, California

Overheard by: Sam

Psychology instructor: If you look at the castle in The Little Mermaid, you'll see there are some phallic subliminal messages…
Student in the back row: It's a giant penis castle!

Psychology Class, Northwestern University
Illinois

University girl: So tonight — no tequila, and we wear underwear.

Waterloo
Canadia

Overheard by: Regretting the bottle of tequila in my backpack

Yale polo player #1: What are all those people doing on old campus?
Yale polo player #2: Probably “Soccer for Darfur” or something. I hate fake activism like that.
Yale polo player #3: You mean “S'mores for Darfur,” right?
Yale polo player #1: I keep hearing that word, “Darfur.” What does it even mean?

overheardatyale.com

Overheard by: Overheard at Yale

Professor: What do you think my fantasy is?
Student: Armpit sex… in a park. No, wait. Menage a trois. All-male in a… ballroom?

Godfrey, Illinois