Students

Student, yelling at no one in particular: I can't believe this stupid book is $52! It's a fuckin' softcover 40-page book!
Bookstore employee: Dude, just photocopy it and return it.
Student: Ohhh! Good idea! Thanks!

Bookstore
Los Angeles, California

Art teacher: The size of the square should be 13 inches…
Student #1, interrupting: Is that the length or the width?
Student #2: Uh, Krista, it's a square. The length and width are the same.
Student #1: Well, don't get mad at me just because I'm not all smart like you!

Marathon, Florida

Overheard by: Chey

College boy #1: Like what does that mean? I don't go to class! Do you go to class?
College boys #2 and #3: No!

Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: On my way to class

English teacher: Going around is a sheet with some 1920s slang, so you can get used to it before we start reading The Great Gatsby. Okay, so, everyone knows what a flapper is…?
Tenth grader: Oh, like a transvestite, right?

Tinton Falls, New Jersey

Girl in restroom #1: I just found an eyelash in my bellybutton!
Girl in restroom #2: Is it yours?
Girl in restroom #1: Yeah…I think.

Auburn University Student Union
Auburn, Alabama

Teacher: Where does the friar discover the bloodstains in the tomb?
Student #1: In the kitchen!
Teacher: There's no kitchen in a tomb.
Student #2: Well, dead people got to eat too!
Student #3: No they don't, stupid!
Student #4: Wait, don't people get hungry when they die?

9th Grade English Class
Louisiana

Overheard by: Is it Summer Vacation Yet?

Professor: How do you feel about presenting?
Student: Nervous. I don't like talking in front of people.
Professor: These aren't people, these are students!
Students: (silence)
Professor: That's not a nice thing to say. You can't believe I just said that, can you?

UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: CR

Nursing student #1, about absent classmate: If she'd have kept her fucking mouth shut and not been a motherfucking snitch we wouldn't be in this mess!
Nursing student #2: Why'd she snitch on us?
Nursing student #1: I don't know, but she think she the best thing since apple sauce!
(long pause)
Nursing student #1: I really like applesauce!

Marian College
Indianapolis, Indiana

Prospective student's mother: I hear there are a lot of lesbians on this campus.
Student tour guide: Well, it isn't like they jump out of the bushes and convert you or anything.

College, Colorado

Male student in campus center: So once you put on the wetsuit, you pee all over yourself. Then you're warm for the whole time!

Princeton University
New Jersey

Overheard by: excuse me?