Stupidity

Student #1: Hey, did you notice the huge black wooden sign that's blocking the entrance to the girl's bathroom due to vandalism?
Student #2: Yeah, I heard someone stole one of the urinals.
Student #1: It's a girl's bathroom, though.
Student #2: Don't they use them too?

High School
Gavette, Arkansas

Policeman, pulling over drunk guy on bike: License and registration, please.
Drunk guy: I'm on a bike!
Policeman: Sorry, force of habit.

Jefferson City, Missouri

Overheard by: BartMan

Girl #1: Jimmy Kimmel has narcolepsy.
Boy: Is that the one where you read from right to left?
Girl #2: No, that's Hebrew.

Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Kate

Man: Of course, back in the '70s, we didn't have China.

Chino, California

Construction worker #1: There's a lot of sick bastards out there.
Construction worker #2: Not like when we were growing up.
Construction worker #3: That's because the country's got 300 million people now. When we was growing up it only had 150 million. That's why you got three times the number of crazies now.

Oceanside, New York

Guy #1: I loved the way you fucked me last night.
Guy #2: I can't wait to do it again, tonight.
Guy #1: Mmmm, I'm getting hot just thinking about it.
Annoyed woman sitting in front of them: You two fools do realize everyone on the bus can hear you, don't you?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: CTA bus rider

Spray-haired Long Island housewife #1: Beige is my favorite shade…
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #2, interrupting: Oh my gawd, the neutrals! I love the neutrals!

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Ladle

Hot girl: Wait, we just had sex?
Hot guy: We just finished having sex like five minutes ago, do you not remember any of it?
Hot girl: Nope.
Hot guy: Actually, we just finished like thirty seconds ago…

Oxford
England

Teenager #1: Why does the train keep stopping?
Teenager #2: Because it has to stop at train stations.
Teenager #1: Ohmigod, train stations are so random!

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Angela

Sleazy 40-something drunk, pointing and laughing at embarrassed 20-something: And then he got poo all over his knob!
20-something: For fuck's sake dad! Shut up!

Red Light District
Amsterdam

Overheard by: Bleep