Young suit to crying baby he's holding at arm's length: You were a terrible investment.
Young woman: Stop saying that!
Young suit: If he doesn't stop crying, I'm literally going to give him to the next person who is willing.
Young woman, taking the baby: He should be crying. You're an idiot!
Young suit: The sale has now become two for one.
Toys R Us
Bear, Delaware
Suit: I assume he's sitting in his backyard in a loincloth right now.
Boston, Massachusetts
30-something suit: He was like… The Jesus of bad news.
Train Station
Fairfield, Connecticut
20-something suit: They act like they are advancing and getting ahead just because they are always on time. I said “whatever, I'm still cooler than you.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: An overachiever
Man in expensive dark suit #1, with grave look on his face: It was toasted. I should never have got it toasted. Now it's all… Cold, and crunchy. (in tone of intense disgust) Toasted.
Man in expensive dark suit #2, looking even more serious than the first: Toasted… You should know better. Never get it toasted if you're saving it.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Suit to friend: Coffee is like beer for the morning.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/09/except-when-beer-is-beer-for-morning.html
Overheard by: Ian
Man in black suit on cell: Why don't you get a statement from one of the other witnesses… if they are still alive.
Courthouse
Austin, Texas
Suit on cell: Where do you think I am? I'm at work.
Ticket taker: All tickets and passes!
Suit on cell: I'll call you back. I have a conference call.
R7 Regional Rail
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I'm at work too
Male suit: Did you know that the most common cosmetic surgery these days is vaginal rejuvenation?
Female suit: “Vaginal rejuvenation,” that's a mouthful.
Starbucks
New York
Overheard by: Caged Monkey
Young suit #1: I'd totally ride her.
Young suit #2: Her!?
Young suit #1: Yeah, what's up with her? She's very pleasant-looking.
Young suit #2: My point exactly. You don't “totally ride” (makes air quotes) someone who's pleasant-looking.
(pause)
Young suit #1: Fair enough. (pause) Okay then, I'd totally let her ride me.
Young suit #2: Yeah, me too.
Subway Sandwich Shop
Glasgow
Scotland
