Suit #1: You gotta stop traveling and eating out like this. You’re starting to pack it on.
Suit #2, slapping his stomach: Nah, after seven p.m. all this turns to dick.
Steakhouse
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Poor Bastard
Suit #1: You gotta stop traveling and eating out like this. You’re starting to pack it on.
Suit #2, slapping his stomach: Nah, after seven p.m. all this turns to dick.
Steakhouse
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Poor Bastard
Suit lady #1: So how was your weekend?
Suit lady #2: Oh, it was really good. I went to a jail.
Suit lady #1: Really? I've never been to a jail.
Suit lady #2: Yeah, neither had I… it was really good.
Suit lady #1: I've always wanted to go to a jail.
Suit lady #2: Yeah, you probably will… I thought “Seeing as I'm putting people in there, I should probably find out what it's like.”
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Cassie Barlow
Fat suit on cell: Damn that grandma!
Russell Square Station
London
England
Hobo: Spare some change?
Lady suit: No.
Hobo: Fine. Well, at least it's sunny out today.
Lady suit: Yeah, it's so nice. But I only get to stare at it from inside the office. (looks sad)
Hobo: I feel for ya.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Caesara
40-something suit to another: I should go see Santa, but I'm a couple decades too late. (pause) And if you go without a kid, they think you're weird or something.
LIRR Train Station
New York
Overheard by: BK
Suit: You are so good at stalking.
20-ish chick: Thank you so much! [Shakes his hand.]Suit: Keep up the good work.
Dupont Circle
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Steve
Angry suit on phone: Listen, I don't care what you think, if you don't think I'm doing a good job, don't fucking ask me to work for you! (pause) No! No! No! I don't care, I'm doing more important things right now! (pause) I'm buying plant food!
CVS
Connecticut
Overheard by: Guy
Hot young suit #1: What happened with your girlfriend?
Hot young suit #2: I manipulated her into a false sense of security, then rooted her, then dumped her — same as I did with Mandy. [After a pause] I’m not looking for praise.
Theatre
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Rosebyanothername
40-something female suit to friends: I just wanted to cover her in Lysol!
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Wondering what the rest of the conversation was…
Suit on cell: But yeah, concrete is the future.
Metairie Road
Metairie, Louisiana
Overheard by: What happened to plastic?
