Roseanne Barr: The Flight Attendant Years

Angry suit: When is this plane going to take off? I have a very important meeting to get to!
Flight attendant: The incoming plane is delayed, sir, there's nothing we can do at the moment.
Angry suit: Well, are you going to make arrangements for me to get on another flight? This is urgent! Do you know who I am?
Flight attendant (over loudspeaker): Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, there is a gentleman at the desk who does not know who he is. If anyone has any information about his identity, please come forward.

Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on October 6, 2020
Airports & flights, Bragging, Default, Flight attendants, Illinois, Offers and requests, Questions, Suits, Time Management

Maintenance: “When You Put an End to Nude Chair-Hockey, Then We’ll Talk”

Worried suit: That’s why we get our chairs cleaned more than any other department. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why doesn’t anyone put a stop to this?

Metro Bus
Seattle, Washington

Posted on June 21, 2020
Bus, Cleanliness, Compare and contrast, Default, Gripes, Questions, Suits, Washington

And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days

Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”

Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Jo

Posted on June 14, 2020
Advice, Bus, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Geography, Guys, Rhode Island, Suits

They Are Currently in Place

Well-dressed man to female companion, in crowded tasting room: Did you remember the dildo?
Elegant lady companion: Yes, I brought both of them.

Napa Valley wine Auction
St. Helena, California

Posted on March 10, 2020
California, Couples, Default, Etiquette, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Suits, Toys, Women

Though I’d Always Pictured You As More of a Titmouse

Suit on cell: Wait, while I’ve got you on the phone, what’s your animal spirit name? … Ah, ‘White Wolf’ — of course. All right, see you then.

Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Baffled Bear

Posted on February 17, 2020
Animals, Default, Indiana, Names, On the phone, Questions, Suits

The Peer Pressure Is Overwhelming

20-something suit on cell (angrily): But mom, you don't understand! Everyone I know is already on the folk dancing team!

Brigham Young University
Provo, Utah

Posted on January 16, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Dancing, Default, Gripes, On the phone, Suits, Utah

I’m the Thing I Have Sex to Forget About

Suit: I can’t masturbate to a picture of myself!

Maine

Posted on November 25, 2019
Maine, Masturbation, Suits

Lucy and Ethel Have a Serious Falling-out

Well dressed woman on cell: No, no, no. That’s the problem, I can’t just shoot her because she is on my property. She has to be like breaking into the house or something… We’ll have to find another way.

Maket East Train Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on September 19, 2019
Crimes, Default, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Suits, Train, Violence, Women

Only a Few Orthodonists Do That

Suit walking with lady suit: Well, for that my friend went to this guy downtown and really liked him, but, um, just don’t expect flowers after.

Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Posted on July 26, 2019
Advice, Colorado, Suits

In the Same Sense That Root Beer Is Beer

Suit: Hey, Rich, will you eat a cheese steak? It’s like a salad, except it’s a cheese steak.

25 Hudson Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on February 20, 2019
Food, New Jersey, Suits

Suits