Statistics teacher: There is a correlation between cats and happiness. Cats make people happy. But not all cats. I still have nightmares about some cats. When I was a little girl, there was this cat, Greta, who lived outdoors. I wanted to pet her, but she scratched up my whole arm and got her claws into my protoplasm!
Atlanta, Georgia
Biology professor, a month into school: You have an exam next Monday… I mean Tuesday. Next Tuesday. (chuckle) You don't have this class on Mondays.
Really blonde girl in the back: Wait! We don't?!
Blinn College
Brenham, Texas
Overheard by: Face Palm
Professor: I don't even turn on the television anymore. It's just violence. It's all rape, and gore, and homosexual pedophiles in wheelchairs who chop up grandmothers.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/04/01/wasnt-that-the-season-finale-of-what-not-to-wear/
Overheard by: philosopher
Chemistry lab professor: Families work well only if they are close-knit. Unlike those people who went and had eight kids. Who cares about them? I wish someone would just go shoot them.
Edison State College
Fort Myers, Florida
Overheard by: Chikara
Instructor, during wine tasting: So swirl the glass and tell me what you smell.
Student: It smells like oak?
Instructor: Yeah! I'm definitely getting wood from this.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: me too
Girl to teacher, about Underground Railroad: Wait… didn't the white people hear the train go by?
High School
Clark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sweeney
Literature substitute teacher: Did I hear that correctly? Did you say “Please don't rape me with your feelings”?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/291242665/thats-pretty-emo.html
Overheard by: yep, your hearing is perfect.
Teacher, pointing to female student: You have ovaries. (pointing to self) I have testes.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Female track jock, to friend: So I had this fucking hair up my fucking ass.
Private school football coach, overhearing: Ladies, please watch you language.
Female track jock: I had a hair up my butt.
El Paso, Texas
Economics professor, discussing equilibrium in trade curves: When you reach that point, the climax, everyone can go home satisfied and exhausted. So as you can imagine, we're going to fool around with these curves quite a bit.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/04/american-university-where-you-can-get.html
Overheard by: au
