Not Even a Semi? You Disappoint Me.

Professor: Here's a good thing to compare to the turgor pressure in a plant cell: have any of you seen an erection?

University of Illinois at Chicago

Overheard by: suddenly paying attention

Posted on August 6, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Erections, Illinois, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Now Everyone Brace Yourselves While I Release the Bee

Teacher: If there's a bee flying around the classroom, I don't want you to freak out. But, if you get stung by a bee, I want you to jump up, scream, run for the door, run into the door because you didn't open it, scream again, and run out. If you're going to disturb the class, we might as well get a laugh out of it.

Bristol, Vermont

Overheard by: Misaki

Posted on August 5, 2009
Class, Education, Insects, Students, Teachers, Vermont, Weirdness, Wishes

Or Don't Be the Idiot Who Schedules Things Before Noon

Professor, at 8 am: If coffee doesn't work, drink RedBull. But if that doesn't work, I suggest amphetamines or heroin.

Class, SUNY
Purchase, New York

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on August 4, 2009
Advice, Class, Drugs, Education, Food, New York, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Verne Troyer Has Forever Ruined That Role

Teacher: Oh my god, I love you, Erica! You're like a little me!
Student: Ew!

Middle School
Virginia

Overheard by: Eh, there are worse things

Posted on July 30, 2009
Bringing it back to you, Education, Feelings, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Virginia, Weirdness

Religious Freedom's Expensive

Teacher: Why did the Pilgrims come to America?
Student: Because they wanted to dig for gold!
(later)
Teacher: Why did the Puritans come to America?
Student: Oh! I know this one! They're the ones that wanted to dig for gold!

East Greenbush, New York

Posted on July 18, 2009
Education, History, New York, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Wishes

Woody Allen Was a Tedious Child

Teacher to four-year-old boy: How do you like your teacher?
Four-year-old boy, frustrated: I don't. She's always yelling at me.
Teacher: Well, it will be okay. At least you'll be going home soon.
Four-year-old boy, throwing hands in the air: No, it won't! It's never going to end!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on July 12, 2009
Education, Indiana, Kids, Students, Teachers

…While the Three Little Pigs Watched Through Binoculars.

Psych professor: Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a sexual encounter.

Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana

Posted on July 11, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Education, Indiana, Sex, Singing, Teachers

Fine– Pop Quiz, Bitches!

German instructor: Today is a bad day to ask me questions.
Several students at once: What's the meaning of life?

Montevallo, Alabama

Posted on July 2, 2009
Alabama, Education, Philosophy, Questions, Students, Teachers

…It's Deep

Women studies professor, waving arms: We all have the same vaginas!
Student: I love this class.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Tri

Posted on July 2, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Students, Teachers, Vagina, Washington

Why Are We Playing Hangman in Class, Anyway?

Criminal justice teacher: What do you mean “it doesn't fit”?
Student: The word doesn't match the blanks.
Criminal justice teacher: Hm…I probably wasn't sober when I made this.

Gilbert, Arizona

Overheard by: she's not kidding

Posted on June 29, 2009
Arizona, Drinking & drunks, Education, Questions, Students, Teachers, Words

Teachers