Texas

Girl #1: Wanna go to bible study with me tonight? It's really fun! It's gonna be at Stubbs and there'll be free bbq.
Girl #2: You're having bible study at a bar?

University of Texas at Austin

Overheard by: Nicole

Blond on cell: She doesn't call us in six months and when she does, the first call is to tell us that her boyfriend is dead on some motel floor, and the second call is that her mom is dead on the sofa!

Houston, Texas

Very large man, staring down at his junk in front of urinal: Come on now, baby, you can do it, come on…

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Dan

Writer: That guy is so small he could get a job as a stunt midget.
Illustrator: Is that a real profession? I would have thought they did their own stunts.

Greenville Airport
Texas

Overheard by: Mike

Teen girl in stall #1, reading: “Press for assistance…” Oh, Crystal, they have a press for assistance button in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: What?
Teen girl in stall #1: You know when you're in the hospital and you got that little button to press for when you need the nurse to come? They have one in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: Shut up!

Dressing Room
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Alicia K.

Teen boy in car to dog walker (at top of his lungs, worried): Hey, girl! Watch out! The dogs are poisonous!

Midlothian, Texas

Young daughter to white mother: You fell in love with a Mexican?
White mom: Yes, I did.
Mexican dad: Unfortunately.

El Fenix
Texas

Pessimistic non-racist : I can't remember what Jamal Lewis did to go to prison for, but when he got out, he was a different running back.
Optimistic racist: I'm sure it was some kind of misunderstanding.

Point Comfort, Texas

Man: I really hope I can suck something out of the horse later.

DMV
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: auroratudor

Math professor: Coming home drunk at 3 am and grading calculus papers is a great way to learn calculus.

Southern Methodist University
Dallas, Texas