Texas

Writer: That guy is so small he could get a job as a stunt midget.
Illustrator: Is that a real profession? I would have thought they did their own stunts.

Greenville Airport
Texas

Overheard by: Mike

Teen girl in stall #1, reading: “Press for assistance…” Oh, Crystal, they have a press for assistance button in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: What?
Teen girl in stall #1: You know when you're in the hospital and you got that little button to press for when you need the nurse to come? They have one in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: Shut up!

Dressing Room
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Alicia K.

Teen boy in car to dog walker (at top of his lungs, worried): Hey, girl! Watch out! The dogs are poisonous!

Midlothian, Texas

Young daughter to white mother: You fell in love with a Mexican?
White mom: Yes, I did.
Mexican dad: Unfortunately.

El Fenix
Texas

Pessimistic non-racist : I can't remember what Jamal Lewis did to go to prison for, but when he got out, he was a different running back.
Optimistic racist: I'm sure it was some kind of misunderstanding.

Point Comfort, Texas

Man: I really hope I can suck something out of the horse later.

DMV
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: auroratudor

Math professor: Coming home drunk at 3 am and grading calculus papers is a great way to learn calculus.

Southern Methodist University
Dallas, Texas

(attractive couple are making out against a car. The girl's phone goes off.).
Girl: Hello? Hey, mom. No, I'm still at school. Rehearsal's going to be late today. Yeah, I'll call you. Bye!
Guy: I love when you lie.

Houston, Texas

Girl: I'm not going to have fun because I'm going to be sober…and whiny!

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Girl to two friends: Well, he was okay because he could still introduce himself, could still make out with her, and could still pop a boner.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas