Man in black suit on cell: Why don't you get a statement from one of the other witnesses… if they are still alive.
Courthouse
Austin, Texas
Man in black suit on cell: Why don't you get a statement from one of the other witnesses… if they are still alive.
Courthouse
Austin, Texas
New Yorker, trying to get through a crowd of people blocking aisle: Excuse me. Excuse me! Excuse me!
Confused little boy: I already moved.
New Yorker: Oh, I know you have, dear. I was talking to your fat-ass mother.
Grocery Store
Austin, Texas
Biology professor, a month into school: You have an exam next Monday… I mean Tuesday. Next Tuesday. (chuckle) You don't have this class on Mondays.
Really blonde girl in the back: Wait! We don't?!
Blinn College
Brenham, Texas
Overheard by: Face Palm
Female track jock, to friend: So I had this fucking hair up my fucking ass.
Private school football coach, overhearing: Ladies, please watch you language.
Female track jock: I had a hair up my butt.
El Paso, Texas
Hispanic guy to large white guy: Maybe we can catch the rest of What Not to Wear, man!
Austin, Texas
Girl to friend: I was like “whatever, bitch! You're not even a real registered nurse. Like you'll be working full time in a doctor's office making $20 an hour, and I'll be a real nurse making $20,000 a year.”
Texas State University
20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.
San Antonio, Texas
Random guy to friend outside: You're so nasty you eat ravioli!
Abilene Christian University
Abilene, Texas
Overheard by: Ami
