Not The Lake House Good, But What Is?

15-year-old thug, to thug friends: Hmm… P.S. I Love You. That was actually a pretty good movie.

Promenade de Cathedral
Montreal
Canadia

Overheard by: Reb

There’s a Lot of Smoke around Me, but No Fire

Thug filling out employment application: Hey, when you say, ‘Have you ever been convicted of a felony?’ do you mean found guilty, or just sort of accused and arrested?

Wendy’s
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: maybe he shouldn’t use the plastic silverware…

I’m Not Sure Hocking Your VCR Quite Counts

Thuggish teen to friends: Yeah, I’m going antiquing this weekend. For at least an hour.

Orange Line Train
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna

I Demolished That Problem Set, Yo.

Thug #1: Yo, nigga! I will beat you up! You hear me? I will demolish your ass!
Thug #2: Nah man, nah. I’ll beat your ass!
Thug #1: Fuck that, nigga, fuck that.
(pause)
Thug #1: Yo, nigga, what was our physics homework for last night?
Thug #2: Section 4. It’s on that Archimedes’ principle shit.

University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky

Plus I Feel a Little Gay Riding a Log

Intimidating black man on log flume: This ain’t no romantic cruise!

Busch Gardens, Florida

At Midnight It Turns Into a Pumpkin

Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.

Mall
Buford, Georgia

Overheard by: girl with the magical booty

Eliot Spitzer’s next big target

Thugette: Yo, I think Diet Coke got some nicotine in it, ’cause I can’t stop drinking it!
Thug: Yeah, for real. They still must be puttin’ some coke in that jank.
Passerby: It’s called caffeine.

9^th & M Streets
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Erika

And Then Only Because It Was on the Marriage Certificate

Thugette: I went out with him for like two weeks before I even found out his name.

East Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: marcosx

Guess Somebody Wants to Go to College

Teacher to chatty class: Everyone, quiet, we have to go over this!
(class continues chatting)
Guy in the back: I will kill you all.
(class falls silent)

High School
Chesapeake, Virginia

What about a Shapeshifter Disguised As Data?

Thug #1: Is it cheatin’ if you do it on the holodeck?
Thug #2: Nah. Fucking data doesn’t count either.

Target
Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly