Virginia

I'll Trade You for Two Gonorrheas and a Scabies.

Girl, walking barefoot under the rain: Oh, the joys of Richmond. We are so gonna get hepatitis.
Bag lady: No! Don't do that, but if you do… give me some!

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: singing in the rain

Teacher: Oh my god, I love you, Erica! You're like a little me!
Student: Ew!

Middle School
Virginia

Overheard by: Eh, there are worse things

Professor: So does anyone know what the word “matrix” means in Latin?
(silence)
Professor: Well it means “womb.” Now, why might that be? Let's think about it…I mean, I guess a womb is a pretty good place to put…things.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Server: We need a button on the computer for this…
Boss man: For what?
Server: Balls on your face.

Midlothian, Virginia

Overheard by: bec-uhh

Enthusiastic little boy, entering restaurant with parents: Smells like snakes in here!

Restaurant
Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: pasquinn

Middle-aged man: So, how is your husband?
Middle-aged woman: He left me three years ago.
Man: Oh. (awkward/embarrassed laugh) I'm sorry to hear that.
Woman: It's okay, I bought myself a kayak.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Random guy at party: I can't believe I almost peed on that girl's face.

Fredericksburg, Virginia

College student: Where do babies come from?
Professor: Well, one of mine came from a test tube, one came from China, and two of them came from a crazy woman. Any more questions?

UMW
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Guy #1, walking down sidewalk: I really have to poo.
Guy #2, walking down sidewalk: Speaking of poo, I could use some poontang.
Random girl walking the other way: Oh my goodness!

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Alexa

Girl: If you loved me, you wouldn't pressure me to do that!
Boy: Honey, I promise it isn't that weird!

University of Virginia

Overheard by: beth