I Can Finally See Things Clearly.

Hipster guy: Are you going to bed?
Hipster girl: No. I just don't know man. I feel like my head is full of Saran wrap.

Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Virginia

Posted on September 17, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Health & Hygiene, Hipsters, Questions, Sensory experiences, Virginia

Dear O.J. …

Businessman: I know! Because what was I supposed to kill him with—my driver? Can you even use a golf club for that sort of thing?

Arlington, Virginia

Posted on September 16, 2009
Bosses, Questions, Violence, Virginia

I Thought You Didn't Want To?

Mom to toddler girl: What fish should we get today? Salmon or tilapia or flounder?
Toddler girl: Is that “flounder” like in Little Mermaid?
Mom: Well, it's a fish, like flounder was.
Toddler girl: I want to eat flounder! Let's cook him. Mommy, can we eat Nemo too?

Costco
Fairfax, Virginia

Posted on September 12, 2009
Animals, Food, Kids, Moms, Movies, Parenting, Questions, Should have used a condom, Virginia, Wishes, Words

I Told You Not to Pet the Rabbits, Lenny.

Girl: Oh… Unh… Yeah, that's the spot.
Friend: Doesn't it hurt when you rub it so hard like that?
Girl: No, it… oh, that's blood. That's probably not good.

Clark Hall Women's Room
University of Virginia

Overheard by: girl in the stall

Posted on September 7, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Friends, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Virginia

For Whom, Exactly?

High school teacher: So they employed guerrilla warfare.
Chick: Wait, seriously? They sent gorillas out into the jungle? Wouldn't that be dangerous?

Vienna, Virginia

Posted on September 5, 2009
Animals, Chicks, Idiots, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Virginia, Words

I'll Trade You for Two Gonorrheas and a Scabies.

Girl, walking barefoot under the rain: Oh, the joys of Richmond. We are so gonna get hepatitis.
Bag lady: No! Don't do that, but if you do… give me some!

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: singing in the rain

Posted on August 30, 2009
Bag ladies, Girls, Maladies, Offers and requests, Virginia, Weather, Weirdness

Verne Troyer Has Forever Ruined That Role

Teacher: Oh my god, I love you, Erica! You're like a little me!
Student: Ew!

Middle School
Virginia

Overheard by: Eh, there are worse things

Posted on July 30, 2009
Bringing it back to you, Education, Feelings, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Virginia, Weirdness

Scientists Call It “Nature's Junk Drawer”

Professor: So does anyone know what the word “matrix” means in Latin?
(silence)
Professor: Well it means “womb.” Now, why might that be? Let's think about it…I mean, I guess a womb is a pretty good place to put…things.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia