Drunk girl #1: I can’t date him — he’s a vegetarian. You can’t trust vegetarians.
Drunk girl #2: You’re just saying that ’cause that vegetarian guy you dated last semester raped you. He was also Jewish. You should hate the Jews — you’d have more company! [Drunk girl #1 leaves, upset.] I don’t know what her problem is.
Georgetown
Washington, DC
Hot chick #1: I just cannot get off during sex.
Hot chick #2: That’s because you masturbate too much.
Hot chick #1: Oh.
Lebanese Taverna
Washington, DC
Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That's the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It'll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)
National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meaggoo
Metro announcement: The Red Line is experiencing delays due to a sick customer at Farragut North… Trains will share tracks at Gallery Place and Metro Center.
Man on metro: How sick was this customer?
Woman on metro: She better be dead, I'll tell you that.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: jposkin
Drunk girl, burying head into boyfriend's arm: I'm upset with my mother. She expects me to take care of me.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Fallon
Frat boy: All of my plans involve either money or pussy.
Starbucks, E Street
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/02/dont-you-mean-money-for-pussy.html
Teacher: Who knows what the word “cell” means?
4th-grader: Oh, I do, I do! It's a tiny thing like a jelly doughnut! Except instead of jelly, there's blood!
Elementary School
Washington, DC
Girl: I should probably go to church tomorrow. It would make my mom happy… And the priest is really fucking hot.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/
Overheard by:
Suit #1: You gotta stop traveling and eating out like this. You’re starting to pack it on.
Suit #2, slapping his stomach: Nah, after seven p.m. all this turns to dick.
Steakhouse
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Poor Bastard
Lady standing in bathroom, giving advice: Hey, you can get STDs from public bathrooms! Don't touch your eyes!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: pretty sure that's not how you get STDs
