Guy: I bet you taste like cotton candy. (pause) Is it okay, sometime, if I'm hungry, if I take a little nibble…
Girl: No!
Bellingham, Washington
Guy: I bet you taste like cotton candy. (pause) Is it okay, sometime, if I'm hungry, if I take a little nibble…
Girl: No!
Bellingham, Washington
Guy #1: The pop tart is cooked, and by that I mean that I fucked her and now she's pregnant.
Guy #2: I can't wait for the day when I can say that to my mother.
Pullman
Washington
Woman #1 in bathroom stall: You should have an orgy!
Woman #2 in next bathroom stall: I know, that's what I said!
Bathroom, Bar
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: H
Guy on cell: My mom's husband is my dad's wife's ex-husband. Now you know why I live in Seattle–as far away as I can get on the continental US.
Bank of America
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Thinking holidays must be rough
Big black guy on cell: Yeah, I wear the apron. But it comes off at night. Then we’ll see who hustles!
301 bus to Shoreline
Seattle, Washington
Kid to mom in car with windows up: Mom! I peed outside today! Mom! Did you hear what I said? I peed outside today! [Mom doesn’t respond.] Mom! Mom! I peed outside today! I peed outside today!
Mom, opening the door: Shut up and get in the car.
Kindercare, 196th Street
Lynnwood, Washington
Overheard by: snickerpants
Five-year-old boy: Mommy, I’m gonna scrape your eye out. I take your eyeball right out! Scrape, scrape, scrape! Take, take, take! I got your eyeball, hahaha!
Seattle, Washington
Teen girl: I know! It’s the same with my uterus. I just want to rip it out sometimes.
Covington, Washington
Overheard by: Trevor
Middle-aged guy on ski lift to lady: … So I’m at work, and the new 18-something marketing intern comes up to me and basically directly propositions me for sex. Now, since I have that restraining order my wife got against me and I’m done dealing with that assault conviction, I didn’t think it was going to be a bad idea. My wife won’t come over and my probation officer calls the same time every day…
Crystal Mountain ski area
Washington
Overheard by: should have waited for the next chair
Chick: I got so much shit to do this week!
Dude: Shit as in projects or finals?
Chick: What? Oh, no — shit as in drugs.
Washington State University
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: Kevin
