At That Point My Crush Was Ova

Girl to friend: So, there was this cute guy, and I was standing behind him, and he just started laying eggs!

Government Center
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: meems

Posted on November 11, 2014
Animals, Beauty, Compare and contrast, Friends, Girls, Massachusetts, Weirdness

Since My Lime Green Mumu Failed to Get Their Attention

Flea market lady: I don’t see the big deal about sanitation these days.
Older flea market lady: I know. The other day at work I dropped a cookie on the floor, then picked it up and ate it. You know, just to see what people would do.

Flea Market
Burley Park, Michigan

Overheard by: Amanda

Posted on November 11, 2014
Cleanliness, Food, Friends, Grumpies, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Stores, Weirdness, Women

I Told Him There'd Be Repercussions If He Put Another Cheerio Up His Nose

Guy on bus: If I ever write a book, it'll be about how to kill my brother in the most painful way possible.
Girl on bus: But he's two.
Guy on bus: I don't care.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Meech

Posted on November 10, 2014
Age and ageing, Bus, Canadia, Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Murder, Weirdness

I Really Need to Lose a Few Pounds

Guy: And then I was skipping down the street naked. I put my underpants back on after the girl realized that I wasn't wearing anything, though.

Portsmouth, Rhode Island

Posted on November 9, 2014
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Rhode Island, Weirdness

Yadda Yadda Yadda, It's Really Hard to Get Blood Out Of Linoleum

Professor on cell: And two students speak at the same time, completely disagreeing with each other. So I just shout “fight!”

University of Oregon

Posted on November 9, 2014
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Offers and requests, On the phone, Teachers, Weirdness

Too Much, Too Much!

Overzealous personal trainer to neophyte trainee: Touch yourself in the butt!

Gym
West Long Branch, New Jersey

Overheard by: Robert

Posted on November 9, 2014
Ass, New Jersey, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Unfortunately, George Michael Took the Advice.

Kid #1: Yo, man! You're missin' somethin'.”
Kid #2: What?
Kid #1: Yeah, you look weird now that you got a haircut.
Kid #2: Huh?
Kid #1: You need to get some earrings!

SUNY
Old Westbury, New York

Posted on November 9, 2014
Default, Guys, Hair, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Weirdness

She’ll Be All, “Help Me, Dr. Phil”!

Guy #1: I love getting Lisa* Taco Bell.
Guy #2: Why’s that?
Guy #1: It’s gonna get her fat! I’m going to get extra sour cream and she’s going to be all like: “Damn, this is delicious!” Meanwhile, she’ll be getting fat.

Kangaroo
Gainesville, Florida

Posted on November 9, 2014
Default, Diet & weight, Florida, Food, Friends, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness, Wishes

To Be Fair, This Is a Common Theme.

Blonde wife: You do realize that our son is going to tell his schoolmates that Jesus is either a zombie or a vampire. Then we are going to have to explain to his teacher that we are Jewish.
Asian husband: And that you are just bad at explaining things?

Houston, Texas

Posted on November 8, 2014
Asians, Couples, Jesus, Texas, Weirdness, Zombies

Whew! For a Second I Thought You Were a Bad Friend

Teen girl #1: You know, in some ways I really despise you.
Teen girl #2: What?!
Teen girl #1: It's okay, I didn't mean it; I just wanted to say something to hurt your feelings!

Shropshire
England

Posted on November 8, 2014
Compare and contrast, Default, England, Feelings, Girls, Teens, Weirdness

Weirdness

She’ll Be All, “Help Me, Dr. Phil”!

To Be Fair, This Is a Common Theme.