Yoga instructor to friend: I've always wanted to throw up on a cat.
Berkeley, California
Yoga instructor to friend: I've always wanted to throw up on a cat.
Berkeley, California
60-something woman: He has always been a quiet person. He's been that way for as long as I have know him, and I have known him since he was a little boy.
Car salesman: Yeah. Wait, didn't you give birth to him?
Woman: I guess I have known him pretty much from the beginning, then. Weird.
Car Dealership
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: stephen
Guy #1 to guy #2 who just stepped onto the elevator: Hey man, did you ever find your glasses?
Guy #2: Yeah, I did. They were at the concierge desk.
Guy #1: What about your pants?
Guy #2: Yeah, they were around my ankles, though I don't really know what happened with that.
Guy #1: I do. You did about 20 shots of rum in 10 minutes.
Guy #2: That doesn't sound right! It wasn't that fast!
Guy #1: Okay, maybe about 15 minutes then.
Guy #2: Yeah, that sounds right. I barely remember the sword.
Elevator
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Holly
Frat boy to friends: So, I look at him and think, “I'm not such a good friend that I'm gonna help him here.” He was halfway off his air mattress and his tighty whities were soaked with either sweat or urine
Friend #1: I'd have kept away too. I hope it was sweat.
Friend #2: Nah, dude. He's a pisser.
Brown Line Train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Jim
Lady on loudspeaker: The train on platform 3 is going to Edgeware Road. The train on platform 4 is for Embankment Station. District Line services are not running between Embankment and Whitechapel. Platform 3 is for Edgeware Road, platform 4 is for Embankment. If you are still on this platform after these trains leave, you are lost and confused and need to find a member of staff.
Earl's Court Station
London
England
20-something chick on cell: How do five-year-olds even know about jello enemas?
Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Pookins
Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.
Daly City, California
Bored woman on cell: Wow, you have a lot of potatoes.
Airport
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: … What?!
40-something female suit to friends: I just wanted to cover her in Lysol!
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Wondering what the rest of the conversation was…
