And, More Importantly, What Is Up with the Name “Dallin”?

Drama teacher to students: Okay, I want you all to close your eyes and imagine the most painful thing you can think of. Okay?
(a few moments pass)
Drama teacher: Okay, who wants to share? Dallin, how about you?
Dallin: Umm… Well, I imagined giving birth to a cactus baby.
Girl next to him: What is with you and cactus babies?

High School
Utah

Overheard by: Weskimo

Posted on July 5, 2017
Birthing, Feelings, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers, Utah, Weirdness

…But Occasionally Grind My Hips. What?

Guy: So yesterday I totally got paid $10 an hour to lay on the floor and do nothing!

Liberal Arts Building, Utah Valley University
Orem, Utah

Posted on July 2, 2017
Guys, Money, Utah, Weirdness

Even the Preachers in Oregon Are Weirdly Crunchy and Alternative.

Freshman girl, emphatically to strangers: Roller derby saved my life! Roller derby saved all of our lives!

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: You've been playing for a month, shut up

Posted on June 29, 2017
Oregon, Strangers, Students, Stupidity, Weirdness

No, But I'd Love a Stranger Telling Me How to Live My Life

Impossibly cheerful Australian: I'd like two scoops of coffee coffee coffee buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz, please!
Alarmed counter guy: Uh, do you need it?

Ben & Jerry's
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on June 8, 2017
California, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness

For Example, Say This Beaker Is My Vagina

Lab TA, chatting during break: So I live alone, and I have a lot of trouble opening bottles. Have you guys ever heard of the plastic husband?
(entire class laughs)
Lab TA: No! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant I need help opening things up!
(class laughs again)

University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania

Posted on June 1, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Pennsylvania, Sex, Teachers, Weirdness

Why Do People Keep Marrying Danny Bonaduce?

Guy on Bluetooth: They took the two most aggressive animals and bred them together. What did they think was going to happen?

Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Tom

Posted on May 16, 2017
Animals, Guys, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sex, Weirdness

…To Paraphrase Nietzsche

White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.

Computer Science Department
Ohio State University

Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret

Posted on May 11, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Default, Drugs, Family ties, Fears, Offers and requests, Ohio, On the phone, Weirdness, Women

Little Madalyn Murray O'Hair Was Quite the Handful

Little girl, running by: She's going to church, I have to stop her!

Lawrence Farms Orchards
New York

Overheard by: MissPinkKate

Posted on May 8, 2017
Character, Christianity, Kids, New York, Weirdness

…Science à L'Orange

Professor #1: There are other people here who put stuff up ducks' butts.
Professor #2: Yeah, but you do it for science!

Fairbanks, Alaska

Overheard by: Lowlie Worm

Posted on May 5, 2017
Alaska, Animals, Ass, Science, Teachers, Weirdness

Which Most People Only Try a Couple of Times in College

Girl #1: Yeah, I hate when people talk about babies like they grow in your stomach. They're in your uterus!
Girl #2: Yeah, it's so dumb. Like, that's not even possible unless you swallowed a penis…or ate a baby.

Connecticut

Posted on April 13, 2017
Body parts, Connecticut, Default, Girls, Penis, Pregnancy, Stupidity, Weirdness

Weirdness