Guy to girl: So, do you call him “camp” for short?
Girl dead seriously: No, I call him master. He is my boyfriend, you know.
English Class
Tampa, Florida
Guy to girl: So, do you call him “camp” for short?
Girl dead seriously: No, I call him master. He is my boyfriend, you know.
English Class
Tampa, Florida
Little boy running inside out of a rainstorm: I am a sword of wetness!
First United Methodist Church
Pittsburg, Kansas
Waiter: Does anyone have a green Firebird?
20-something lesbian: I do, why?
Waiter: It's on fire in the parking lot!
(20-something lesbian and girlfriend go outside and return ten minutes later)
Waitress: Is everything okay?
20-something lesbian, matter of factly: Yeah, my car just caught fire. Can we have another plate?
Girlfriend, unaffected: Also, she ordered tempura.
Sushi Garden
Tucson, Arizona
Big and buff male barista to bigger and buffer male customer (excitedly): And then you can bring the tutu!
Maroubra Junction
Sydney
Australia
Teen gay guy: Hey, do you ever color your nipples?
Teen girl: Huh?
Teen gay guy: When you get bored you, don't take a Sharpie and color your nipples? (pulls up shirt and points) See, this one's pink and this one's blue.
Teen girl: Um…no, I don't.
Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Professor: And if rubbing dog doo on a child's coat makes me a bastard, then so be it.
University of Kentucky
Overheard by: Still laughing a semester later.
Obscenely tall man: I’m sorry. This is really random, but I was just drinking a milkshake. And… I think I spilled some on my head. Can you check it out for me?
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
University kid: It's like a kegger, but with shit.
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The zoe
Guy describing girlfriend to friends: The best thing about her is that there's nothing extraordinary about her at all. (pauses) Yep, the thing I like the most about her is there's absolutely nothing special about her.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: whibs
Female Mets fan: I’d let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.
Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York
Overheard by: aaron
