Professor: So if we played the word association game, and I said the word “ice cream”, Tiffany might say “playground” because she used to eat ice cream on the playground. And then maybe if I said the words “ice cream” to Tom, he might say “sex” because he’s a serial rapist.
Tom: But I’m not.
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Colin
Four-year old practising just before the pageant: Hark the herald, angels sing, glory to the New York king!
Church Christmas Pageant
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: thought NY was a Fifedom
Girl #1: Nobody ever sits on it and I don’t blame them.
Girl #2: You call it the sex couch, that’s why.
Girl #1: I Febreze it!
Girl #2: And then you say that!
Brighton, Massachusetts
Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he’d take it as a compliment…
Guy: I get it! It’s because he’s gay!
University of Alabama
Alabama
African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Dude: “I am Legend”? God, learn to grammar.
High School classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Muslim girl: Ramadan Mubarak!
Girl: What does that mean?
Muslim girl: It means, like, “Yay, it’s Ramadan!”
Girl: So, like … “Yay, I’m not eating or having sex most of the day!”?
Ottawa
Canadia
Girl #1: Owww, my sternum hurts. Wait…I have one of those, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Don’t only boys have sternums?
[pause]Girl #3: I think you’re thinking of scrotum…
University of Scranton
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Poetry professor: I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word “sniffing” I think of sex!
SUNY Purchase
New York
Overheard by: S. Van-Ho
