Flight attendant, over loudspeaker: We will now be dimming the lights for the remainder of the flight.
(Lights dim)
Flight attendant, in deep, sexy voice: Are you in the mood to fly now? I thought so…
Southwest Airlines Flight
Austin, Texas
Flight attendant, over loudspeaker: We will now be dimming the lights for the remainder of the flight.
(Lights dim)
Flight attendant, in deep, sexy voice: Are you in the mood to fly now? I thought so…
Southwest Airlines Flight
Austin, Texas
Dutch flight attendant, collecting airsick bags: Vomit? Vomit? Vomit? Vomit? Thank you. Vomit? Vomit, sir?
NWA Flight
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ladle
Poor overworked guy at counter: Please pardon my ignorance. My computers have collapsed, and that means my brain doesn't work anymore.
International Airport
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Meaghan
The pilot is sitting in the cockpit making clicking noises and singing in a falsetto voice.
Flight attendant: Are you high?
On the runway
Dulles, Virginia
Overheard by: first class is scary
Seven-year-old girl with speech impediment: I told everyone in class I was going to the Kentucky Derby.
Mother: Did people know what the Derby was?
Seven-year-old girl: Alicia didn't! She was like “what is the Derby?” but everyone else in the class knew!
Mother: Well, that is because she is from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire.
Mother: She's from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire?…I told her I was sorry she was adopted.
Southwest Flight above Chicago, Illinois
Passenger: What lake is that we’re flying over?
Flight attendant: That would be a cloud.
Flight from St. George, Utah, to Los Angeles, California
Elderly woman on cell: Hello? What? How many goats? Give it to Nancy*. Just leave it on her porch. It's just one and I don't want it. (long pause) Put it there and ring the doorbell. I don't care how you do it, I'm on vacation, don't bother me. (hangs up phone)
Louis Armstrong International Airport
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: T Perk
Man: You're going to need to empty your bladder.
Little girl (in squeaky high voice): I don't wanna empty my bladder!
Man (unashamedly loud): You'll need to empty your bladder before you get on the plane!
Little girl: Not fair!
St. Paul Airport
Minneapolis
American college guy to friends: My mom told me I was pussy-whipped.
Brussels National Airport
Belgium
Overheard by: aja
Man, taking seat in airport lounge: Wow, this is the first time I've worn pants since…
Woman with him: Since the last time we flew. Feels weird, doesn't it?
Airport Lounge
North Carolina
