Bored woman on cell: Wow, you have a lot of potatoes.
Airport
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: … What?!
Bored woman on cell: Wow, you have a lot of potatoes.
Airport
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: … What?!
Flight attendant, after landing: If anyone left a black coat, please come to the front of the cabin to claim it. (pause) Or if anyone would like to take a black coat for free.
Orlando, Florida
Young professional woman: So, my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby, but when I got pregnant I sort of freaked out and thought I wasn't ready. So I went out with my girlfriends, ate a bunch of sushi, smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank a fifth of tequila. Sure enough, the next day, I got my period. That shit really is bad for the pregnancy.
Flight over Atlanta, Georgia
Little boy to mother: Is this where we have to strip?
Security Line
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Flight attendant over PA after bump during taxi: Don’t worry guys, it was just a cat!
Southwest Airlines, BWI airport
Baltimore, Maryland
Female flight attendant on cell: She was the ugliest woman I had ever seen in my life! But I swear she was my guardian angel. (sighs)
Seatac airport
Seattle, Washington
Flight attendant: Please refrain from smoking for the rest of your life.
Flight over Denver, Colorado
Vaguely thuggish flight attendant: Aiiight, y'all, welcome aboard United Airlines…don't know the flight number, but we're going to Detroit, and that's all that matters.
Delayed Flight from Washington, DC
Overheard by: keeeeem
Flight attendant: Fasten your seatbelt low and tight around your waist, like Britney Spears' pants.
Airplane
St. Louis, Missouri
Woman in bathroom stall, on cell : … That’s just how it is… No, that’s my pee you’re hearing… Anyways, what did she say? Wait a second, I have to wipe…
Spokane Airport
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: wish i had held it…
