Soccer mom: I'm sorry, but if I were your neighbor, I would not share an opossum with you!
Nail Salon
Cumming, Georgia
Dude #1: So, we should do some sort of a school prank.
Dude #2: Wouldn’t it be cool if we poisoned all the acorns on campus and had all the squirrels eat them and die? Imagine — dead squirrels everywhere.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/ten-days-all-at-once-huge-update.html
Overheard by: anonymous
20-something drunk girl, pointing at traffic lights, to friends: Shhhh! We have to be quiet! This is where the dwarf lives!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Man: All cocaine really does is make you want more of it.
Woman: Not necessarily. If that were true, what's to stop people from snorting dog shit?
Man: That rule doesn't apply to dog shit. If you snort dog shit, you will definitely never, ever, want to snort it again.
Oakland, California
Girl to friend: Which would you rather die first, the dog or your dad?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy: So yeah, our ice cream is good. It’s not made out of cat.
Ontario
Canadia
Girl, looking at friend's aquarium: Why is there a carrot?! Is that what you've been feeding your snail?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Guy to girlfriend: Next break I'm going to hug you like a retard squeezing a hamster!
Burnaby
Canadia
Overheard by: Doesn't Like Hamsters Anyway
