Your Editors Are Still Giggling about “Beaverton”

Little boy holding a dog leash: OK, I’ll be the dog and you be the owner.
Little girl: OK!
Little boy: No, wait, you be the dog and I’ll be the owner.
Little girl: Don’t even *think* about it!

Beaverton, Oregon

Posted on July 22, 2015
Animals, Default, Friends, Kids, Offers and requests, Oregon, Sexuality, Wishes

He Left, While Singing, “Everybody Was Kung Pao Fighting…”

Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 21, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Wishes

And What About Cars?

Ditzy American girl: You're from Scotland?
Scottish girl: Yeah.
Ditzy American girl: So do they have like… Ducks over there?

Orlando, Florida

Posted on July 20, 2015
Animals, Florida, Foreigners, Girls, Questions, Stupidity

Wait 'Til the Kid Spills Something on It

Exasperated mom to young daughter (referring to a stuffed beaver): Quit messing with that beaver! (pause) and that's the last time I ever want to say that sentence!

Ikea
Frisco, Texas

Overheard by: Becca

Posted on July 19, 2015
Animals, Default, Euphemisms, Moms, Offers and requests, Parenting, Stores, Texas, Words

She Unhinges Her Jaw Like a Python

Guy #1: Seriously, that girl has a mouth the size of a dinosaur.
Guy #2: What kind of dinosaur?
Guy #1: A big-mouthed dinosaur.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/288357279/rawr.html

Overheard by: he could have said any noun

Posted on July 19, 2015
Animals, Default, Guys, Mouth, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions

Always Calling Them Fat and Poking at Their Thighs

Girl, pointing at KFC: Don't eat there. They're mean to the chickens.

Keene, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Really?

Posted on July 17, 2015
Animals, Default, Girls, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, Violence

Girl Squirrel: Oh No She Didn’t!

Angry chick: Why did God create men? They’re stupid!
Friend: ‘Cause we need their sperm to procreate.
Angry chick: Well, he could’ve just had us fuck squirrels instead. I dunno…
Friend: What?!
Angry chick: Eh… It’s better than the alternative! They’re sooo damn cute!
Friend: Oh, wow.

Iowa

Overheard by: ewww