The Final Solution to the School Year

Enthusiastic teacher: We're doing a scavenger hunt today!
Student, dubiously: A scavenger hunt?
Enthusiastic teacher, nodding: Yeah, it's like … It's like a Nazi Easter egg hunt.

North Carolina

Posted on June 15, 2010
Animals, Compare and contrast, History, North Carolina, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

But I Didn't Back Up Over It. That's Gay.

English major #1: So, I totally ran over a snake today.
English major #2: Was it an anaconda?
English major #1: I don't know… It was a snake!
English major #3: Was it a grass snake?
English major #2: Was it a trouser snake?
English major #1: Yes. I ran over a penis.

Southern Illinois University
Edwardsville, Edwardsville, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Posted on June 2, 2010
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Illinois, Penis, Students

Especially, Headless Ones Dressed in Couture

Trendy girl, extremely serious: But like I am totally scared of mannequins! (pause) Mannequins, and big giraffes. I'm really just scared of all jungle animals in general.

Manhattan, Kansas

Posted on June 2, 2010
Animals, Fears, Girls, Kansas

I'd Still Buy the Wii Version.

Guy, mournfully: Tiger fights are so generic now…

Westwood, California

Posted on May 9, 2010
Animals, California, Gripes, Guys, Weirdness

Sometimes It's a Good Time, Sometimes It's a Good Story

Woman #1, as bus passes bar: See that bar? There's another location closer to the lake. My dad and I went there for a beer right after I first moved here. I felt something brush my leg and I looked down and saw a rat! I swear, it was a foot and a half long!
Woman #2: Oh my god! What did you do?
Woman #1: Oh, it was crazy. The owner disappeared upstairs and came back with a baseball bat but by that time the rat was hiding between the bar and the wall. So he runs off again and comes back with a blowtorch! It's like, 'helloooo, this whole bar is made of wood!”
Woman #2: So what happened?
Woman #1: They took my address and that Monday I got a bouquet of flowers. For not freaking out, I guess. I dunno. I've never been back…

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on April 22, 2010
Animals, Etiquette, Illinois, Women

…Who Refuses to Be Confined to a Single Cell.

Girl: I am not an amoeba, I'm a free man!

Chatswood Station
Sydney
Australia

Posted on April 12, 2010
Animals, Australia, Compare and contrast, Girls, Train, Weirdness

How Many Words a Minute Can It Type?

Man to another: What's the street value of a giant frog?

Sydney
Australia

Posted on April 6, 2010
Animals, Australia, Guys, Money, Weirdness

…Since That's What This Pie Looks Like.

Bakery clerk: It's not like my dog is going to run off and do drugs!
Confused person next in line: Um, ha ha, you never know.
Bakery clerk: Oh, we were just talking about childbirth.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania