And I’m Having Your Baby

Student: I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
Teacher: What’s the bad news? That you didn’t do your homework?
Student: No, that’s the good news. The bad news is that I love you.

Arcadia, California

Posted on April 23, 2017
California, Relationships, Students, Teachers

Although I Do Like the Nightlife

Queer, when Bible-thumping lady splashes him with holy water: I’m a faggot, not a vampire. There’s a difference.

San Luis Obispo Gay Pride Festival
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rish

Posted on March 20, 2017
California, Gossip, Queers, San Francisco

I’d Like to Make a “Donation” to That Cause, If You Know What I Mean

Girl: So Natalie Portman is speaking tonight. I want to go.
Boy: What is it about?
Girl: Poverty, but who cares? It’s Natalie Portman.
Boy: Yeah, fuck poverty, she’s hot.

University
Berkeley, California

Posted on March 17, 2017
About celebrities, Beauty, California, Colleges & Universities, Education, Friends, Girls, Guys, Yeahhh, college!

I Appreciate Your Candor

Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!

Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Has that ever worked?

Posted on March 3, 2017
Bragging, California, Compliments, Etiquette, Offers and requests, Penis, Pride, Sexuality, Teens, Thugs, Words

Were We Ever?

Female student #1: You sure you want me to feed you this banana?
Female student #2: Get on with it, will you?
Female student #1: This thing's pretty big. I wouldn't want to choke you.
Female student #2: Don't worry about it. I've had much bigger.
Youngish professor: (raises eyebrows)
Female student #2: You think I'm kidding? I've had some pretty big ones. Think you can give me a bigger one?
Youngish professor (blushing): Um, possibly.
Female student #2: Well, I'd like to see that.
Female student #3: Um, are we still talking about bananas here?

Classroom
UCSC, California