Dude #1: Hey, man, call someone and see if you can get us a ride.
Dude #2: Denny’s.
Dude #1, pausing: … No, you need to make some calls and see if you can get someone to give us a ride.
Dude #2: Denny’s.
Dude #1, after longer pause: Dude, are you hungry?
Dude #2: No… I could use some food, though.
Bay Area Rapid Transit District, California
Yoga instructor to friend: I've always wanted to throw up on a cat.
Berkeley, California
Guy #1: Yo, it would be tight to work in a rug store.
Guy #2: Yeah, man. All those different kinds of rugs…
Oakland, California
Overheard by: archidork
Chick #1: I hate kittens.
Chick #2: Do you hate rainbows too?
Guy: And dreams?
Chick: #3: And butterflies?
San Diego, California
Queer: You should move to Texas. You haven't been there yet.
Chick: Are you kidding? I am in no way hot enough to live in Texas. For one thing, I'd need way bigger boobs.
Queer: Oh, honey. That's what plastic surgery is for!
The Castro
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: lucy
Girl: Who are you dating now?
Guy: I don’t know if you’d call it dating, but I met a stripper that comes over around midnight, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she’s gone.
Random eavesdropper: Dude, marry that bitch!
Open Bar
San Diego, California
20-something chick on cell: How do five-year-olds even know about jello enemas?
Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Pookins
Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.
Daly City, California
Guy: She makes her own salsa, too! And God, it’s good. Almost better than sex with a stranger, though I wouldn’t know what that was like.
Girl: I’m also a salsa maker.
Guy, laughing: Well, hello random…
Girl: No, we were talking about your mom making salsa… Until your side-trip to stranger-sex-land.
Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jeff
Stoner girl to stoner guy: Vietnam was a war, not a country!
Sacramento, California
