Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.
Daly City, California
Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.
Daly City, California
Guy: She makes her own salsa, too! And God, it’s good. Almost better than sex with a stranger, though I wouldn’t know what that was like.
Girl: I’m also a salsa maker.
Guy, laughing: Well, hello random…
Girl: No, we were talking about your mom making salsa… Until your side-trip to stranger-sex-land.
Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jeff
Stoner girl to stoner guy: Vietnam was a war, not a country!
Sacramento, California
40-something female suit to friends: I just wanted to cover her in Lysol!
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Wondering what the rest of the conversation was…
Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.
UC
Berkeley, California
Woman #1: In all seriousness, given the choice, I don't know whether I'd prefer to be male or female.
Woman #2: It'd be really nice not to have cramps.
Woman #1: Yeah, and bleeding in public can be embarrassing, but perhaps less embarrassing than having things “pop up” unexpectedly.
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Angelica Burns
Woman: I imagine that finding out you have a tumor is very much like finding out you're pregnant.
Los Angeles, California
Distinguished professor: I think I do sex next Tuesday, is that right?
Evolutionary Ecology class, University of California
Santa Cruz, California
Impossibly cheerful Australian: I'd like two scoops of coffee coffee coffee buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz, please!
Alarmed counter guy: Uh, do you need it?
Ben & Jerry's
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Nurse: Okay, so… Where, exactly, did you acquire these grasshopper heads?
Hospital waiting room
California
Overheard by: Niki
