Second grade teacher: Okay, so if you are what you eat, what food would you be?
Student #1: Cake!
Student #2: Candy!
Student #3: Beer!
Second grade teacher: No, you can’t choose that. It’s illegal for you to drink beer.
Student #3: But I drink it all the time!
St. Catharine’s
Ontario
Canadia
Man on cell: I don’t feel I owe you anything! … But I didn’t even use your service. I found a girlfriend on my own!
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Steve E
Slutty teen in very short skirt (yelling): Yo,what time is it?
Drunk passerby : (shows watch on wrist)
Slutty teen (indignantly): Like, I don't do analogue, bitch!
Ottawa
Canadia
Middle-aged woman to group of friends: I was possessed once, too.
Group, murmuring: Really? When? What happened?
Middle-aged woman: Oh yeah, when I was in hospital. And I know because I went like this: wluuuhhhhh!
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Jane
Crazy: Satan killed Jimi Hendrix!
Outside El Macombo
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Streetcar announcement: Next stop, Alton Avenue!
Crazy guy on streetcar: Next stop, house of contaminated puppies!
Streetcar announcement: Next stop, Greenwood Avenue!
Crazy guy on streetcar: Next stop, have you ever tried to kill a Muppet in an alley?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Felicity Thistle
Behavioral therapist, in very serious voice, to child with autism about animal crackers: Jason, put the elephant in your mouth!
Child's mother, laughing: How often do you honestly get to say that?
St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: aba therapist
Six-year-old #1: Did you know that we’ve kissed before and we’re not even family?
Six-year-old #2: Yeah, in a hot tub!
Casselman
Ontario
Canadia
Woman: The Italian mafia are making me conduct the trains!
Subway Station
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Botany professor, lecturing on plant reproduction: Now, I'm sure you all know plenty about sex in humans by now. (pause) Because of the Ontario school system. (pause) And…stuff.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: The Shrew
