Paris Hilton lookalike waif on cell, wearing tight cargo Capris and giant white sunglasses: No, the steakhouse one… (pause) Yeah, when the vultures flew out of my pants!
Trailer Park behind PETCO
New Jersey
Overheard by: IDK if I want to understand this one
Woman to husband: Honey, do you think this would be a good fall coat for me?
Five-year-old daughter: It looks like an old-fashioned coat.
Woman: I knew you were gonna say that!
Five-year-old: A young lady like you shouldn't wear such an old-fashioned coat!
Target
Allen Park, Michigan
Mom: Did you see how that girl was pulling that young man across the street? Maybe he was blind.
Daughter: I saw how she was dressed — he wasn’t blind. If he was blind she wouldn’t be dressing so slutty. If I dated a blind guy I would wear clothes that were soft.
Louisville, Kentucky
College girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, bigger!
College girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
College girl #1: I know, but I don't want to look like a slut.
College girl #2: I feel like I look less slutty when I wear my sunglasses.
Boulder, Colorado
Girlfriend: I'm gonna get a black wig and a skirt, and I'm putting body-glitter on you and doing your hair like you're in 90210 and you're going as Edward. It'll be like ironic.
Boyfriend: I'm gonna put some mayonnaise on my pants and go as that “jizzed in my pants” guy.
Girlfriend: No, you're not.
Gainesville, Florida
Student, during class: Are we talking about real prostitutes or a guy who duct tapes everything back and puts a skirt on?
Stockton College
New Jersey
Overheard by: Charlie
Black guy to white girl: I hate black people!
White girl: You hate yourself?
Black guy: No. I just hate black people. They're always late. And they tell me to wear my pants down. I made friends with a white supremacist.
White girl: But they hate you!
Black guy: He liked me…
Norman, Oklahoma
Little girl: What do you think, Mommy?
Overenthusiastic mom: That’s a cute little wife beater!
Target
Fayetteville, Arizona
Overheard by: D00M5D4YCH1CK3N
Girl #1: Lumberjacks wear flannel.
Girl #2: And junkies.
