Girl #1: Oh, I like your jacket.
Girl #2: Thanks, it's not mine, Julie loaned it to me. Thank god she did, because she puked on mine.
Girl #1: Is that why she loaned it to you?
Girl #2: No, I didn't tell her she puked on mine. It's not really cool to bring up stuff people did when they were having a seizure.
Cork
Ireland
Crazy bag lady: Can I have that shirt? I’m all dirty and nasty.
Young guy: No, I need this for work.
Crazy bag lady: Oh. Can I shit in your mouth?
Young guy: Um, no.
Washington, DC
Mother: That dress is cheap — cheap like the cigarette cartoons in my mother’s freezer.
Daughter: It’s prom. You’re supposed to look cheap.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Man: Excuse me, but your skirt is caught on your bag and it's pulling your skirt all the way up.
Young woman (annoyed): Excuse me! Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone?!
Man: Fine then–walk around with your ass hanging out–see if I care.
Young woman (into her phone): Oh my god! Some guy just totally came up and told me that my ass is showing! (walks off with skirt still showing)
Airport
Sydney
Australia
Physicist: Elise has a quantum ass. It's either big or real big. Depending on what pants she wears.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: change
Hoochie #1: That's why I don't wear panties with tight skirts; I need maximum mass, maximum jiggle.
Hoochie #2: That's also why you always flashin' your business, looking like a ho.
Hoochie #1: So? What you doing up in that club–gettin' drunk? (laughs)
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Mistopher
Crazy-religious-dude, pointing at male student: Are you free from sin?
Male student: Yes I am!
Cray-religious-dude: Sure about that? (looks student over) Then why is your shirt so tight?
Florida International University
Size 4 girl #1: I love H&M but it makes me feel so fat. I have to wear a size 6 or 8 when I shop here.
Size 4 girl #2: Yeah, and that vest makes you look like a lesbian.
H&M
Chicago, Illinois
Man in dressing room to employee waiting on him: Dude, I can see my ass hair. I'm a grown-ass man. Go find me some grown-ass man pants.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Teacher to girl: I like your shirt!
Girl: Oh, yeah, but it's from a show, so I'm not, like, just wearing a shirt… randomly or whatever.
Boulder, Colorado
