Skinny emo guy to emo girl: The only way I'm going to see him naked is if I picture it in my head. Oh, god damn it! I just saw it!
Missouri State University
Overheard by: Matt
Skinny emo guy to emo girl: The only way I'm going to see him naked is if I picture it in my head. Oh, god damn it! I just saw it!
Missouri State University
Overheard by: Matt
Guy: Dude, do you remember when our driver's ed teacher taught us how to do donuts?
Pinkerton Academy
Derry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: kr142616
Girl to friend: You know what I was thinking? We always say girls who get pregnant are white trash. But I really thought about this, and we have sex. We could get pregnant. You're not white trash!
College
New Jersey
Girl sitting in front of lecture hall to professor, very matter-of-factly: People don't really use adverbs anymore.
Evans Hall, UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: the only one left
Professor: At every threshold capacity spanking is happening!
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
Guy: Wait, Langston Hughes was gay? Damn, now I gotta take him off my Facebook.
Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas
Professor: And if rubbing dog doo on a child's coat makes me a bastard, then so be it.
University of Kentucky
Overheard by: Still laughing a semester later.
Brunette: And then he called me back ten minutes later and told me his brother got his girlfriend pregnant, and she's like sixteen or something.
Blonde: Is he mad his brother and his girlfriend hooked up?
Brunette: He's got more serious issues dating a child and shit.
Kent State University
Kent, Ohio
Obscenely tall man: I’m sorry. This is really random, but I was just drinking a milkshake. And… I think I spilled some on my head. Can you check it out for me?
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Professor, on last day of sex addiction class: I'm putting a website on the board for anyone who's interested in more information on how to become a certified sex addict.
(entire class cheers)
Professor: I meant “sex addiction therapist.”
Student to another: He just spent a whole semester telling us that sex addiction isn't fun. Clearly we didn't catch on.
Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
