Teen girl, shouting: It is time to accessorize my baby!
Aurora, Colorado
Little boy: I don’t have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do sweetie…
Little boy: No! I don’t have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do…
Little boy: No, you’re a giant!
Grocery Store
Colorado
Overheard by: Not a Giant or a Grandma
[Chick #1 drops purse, condom falls out.]Chick #2: [Hands it back.] I didn’t know you had a penis.
Chick #1: I’m just being prepared.
Chick #2: In case you grow a penis?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Smug TA: While I was with her I was doing crack. She had no idea.
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Goth girl: I’m so proud of my sister. The rest of her classmates are doing their final projects on chihuahuas and stuff like that. My sister? Serial killers.
Friend: Dude, you’re turning her into a you.
Goth girl: I know! My mom is so pissed at me.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Teen girl #1: Lemur? What the hell’s a lemur?
Teen girl #2: Lemur is French for ‘light.’ You know, like the candlestick on Beauty and the Beast — lemur.
Teen girl #1: You’re so smart. How do you know this shit?
Teen girl #2: I took two years of French.
Lemur Exhibit, Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado
Planned parenthood speaker: Who wants some condoms?
Class, in unison: Your mom.
High school assembly
Englewood, Colorado
Chick: I’m like Ash from Pokémon, only with Jesus!
Denver, Colorado
Chick: Oh my god, look at this baby! It is so ugly! I didn’t think babies were allowed to be ugly!
University of Denver
Denver, Colorado
