Girl to girlfriend: If our burritos were in jail, my burrito would rape your burrito.
Chipotle
Northridge, California
Girl to girlfriend: If our burritos were in jail, my burrito would rape your burrito.
Chipotle
Northridge, California
College girl: Last night I dreamed that everyone got a car for free… except for you.
College guy: Even in your dreams, I can't get a fucking break!
Boone, North Carolina
Teacher: Pants so tight it could snap your vagina off!
Sex-Ed Class
Tampa, Florida
Freshman guy: In health today, we were looking at pictures of vaginas with herpes, and it made me want pizza…
High School
Steilacoom, Washington
Overheard by: Meredith
Girl: I am not an amoeba, I'm a free man!
Chatswood Station
Sydney
Australia
Woman to friend: That would never happen. Not even in a fairytale you wrote your goddamn self would that happen.
Buffalo, New York
Guy: It was a teeth-optional place, but hey, I was a drug addict, so I'm not all that and a bag of chips either.
Los Angeles, California
Suit to friend: Coffee is like beer for the morning.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/09/except-when-beer-is-beer-for-morning.html
Overheard by: Ian
Bakery clerk: It's not like my dog is going to run off and do drugs!
Confused person next in line: Um, ha ha, you never know.
Bakery clerk: Oh, we were just talking about childbirth.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Girl in track pants: No! People don't look at me and think “oh, that bitch went to the gym.” No, they look at me and think “oh, that bitch is nasty!”
UC
Santa Cruz, California
